The packages have been opened and the gifts have been given. The glow still shines in the eyes of my children. They were so good and so grateful for what they received. By the world's standards, we had a small Christmas but in the grand scheme of things our Christmas was full of blessings. Love in our hearts, food on our table and small gifts to share. Grateful children and peace in our home. Those gifts can not be measured. I feel like this Christmas was special and intimate and full of blessing. God provided in ways I can not even explain.
I believe God is going to do wonderful things this year. Long after all the bows, ribbons and packages are gone the effects of this Christmas will remain treasured in my heart. The love of my Father in heaven who showed me in so many ways He truly has provided Emanuel (God is with us) to my heart,mind, body, soul and home is the greatest gift of all. It didn't come in fancy bows or paper. It didn't come with a price that can be measured. But it came with the most precious gift of all the shed blood of a Savior dying for my sins, who came to this earth as a humble baby. Thank you Jesus for your gift and that it shines like the brightest star in our home.
Monday, December 27, 2010
The packages have been opened and the gifts have been given. The glow still shines in the eyes of my children. They were so good and so grateful for what they received. By the world's standards, we had a small Christmas but in the grand scheme of things our Christmas was full of blessings. Love in our hearts, food on our table and small gifts to share. Grateful children and peace in our home. Those gifts can not be measured. I feel like this Christmas was special and intimate and full of blessing. God provided in ways I can not even explain.
Posted by Unknown at 9:15 PM
Posted by Unknown at 9:07 PM
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I have come to the conclusion that the enemy of our souls has waged an all out battle,more so than ever before, for marriages and families. As a Christian...sister, wife and mother...my job is to battle in the trenches. I must fight against what I can not see and that is done, most humbling...on your knees. We are armor bearers. Armor bearers do not get glory or fame or often any recognition....BUT they are warriors. the armor bearers has to bring the soldier his replacement weapons and armor in the most dire of circumstances. We are that...we are warriors and armor bearers. The armor bearer must be strong of faith and character because to stand up in the midst of battle to bring the soldier what he needs is not easy.
That being said...yes we are warriors too. God has us wearing many hats as it were. Sometimes, He has us fulfilling the armor bearer role. But there are times...our commander and chief calls us out and puts us on the front lines. It is those times that having been fighting in the trenches as the armor bearer comes in to play. It is those times God uses us to fight because He has prepared us in the trench.
The trench isn't pretty. It is lonely at times, ugly and sometimes it is stinky. Thing is sometimes we choose to bring stuff into our trench that limits us and fills our trench with stuff that makes our conditions worse.
Our commander and chief supplies everything we need for the battle. We do not have to bring anything. He supplies it all. We get into trouble when we try to fulfill our needs for battle by ourselves.
So I stand up and say God use me where you want me...whether it is on the front lines or in the trenches...but let me do it for YOUR glory with what YOU supply. Help me stand in your grace and fight on my knees or stand up in full battle armor when you call me to it...with no fear but the strength of God flowing through my veins.
Posted by Unknown at 10:52 AM
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
What are you thankful for:
Jenny said: My family and my friends. And I love my friends and family. I am thankful for Jesus and my friend little Hannah. I am thankful for trees and uhmm my house. I am thankful for Chippy (that is the chipmunk in our yard). And I am thankful for for my Mommy and Daddy and bro bro and sissy.
You have to take it out of the bag
Put some M&Ms on it and some animal crackers and some chocolate chips
Put it on 5 degrees
and cook it for 6 hours.
Take it out and let it cool and then EAT IT.
Hannah (age 7)
What are you thankful for:
Hannah said: I am thankful for my friends and family. Grandparents, and my church friends. I am also thankful for my food. I am also thankful for Jesus. I am thankful for the gifts that God gave me.
First you need a turkey from a store. A 40 lb turkey (mind you she doesn't weigh 40 lbs)
Make it pretty with flowers around it before you bake it.
Put some salt and pepper on it.
Bake it at 60 degrees for 20 minutes until it is cooked.
Then you will put it on a dish and put some more flowers around it. Then everyone gathers around the table and eats potatoes and stuffing and yams. And also a chocolate cake and pumpkin pie for dessert.
Christopher (age 10)
What are you thankful for:
I am thankful for my family , my friends, Jesus and the world. I am thankful for my toys.
Get a 15 lb turkey.
Use seasonings like garlic, salt, oregano, pepper
Put it in some sauce and keep it there to marinate it for a couple minutes at least. Then put it on the grill.
Cook it for about an hour or so until it is brownish and golden.
Take it out and let it rest for a little bit and then put it back on for 15 minutes.
Take it out and it will be a beautiful golden color.
Serve it with peas, broccoli, tomatoes and also some soup.
For dessert we will have pumpkin pie, cherry pie and apple pie.
It will serve 5 people
Posted by Unknown at 2:50 PM
Monday, November 22, 2010
Mondays sneak up so fast! I swear the weekend flies by and Monday is upon us. We never have enough time together on the weekends. Mike works so hard and the weekends is our family time. It flies by. So glad this week we will get some extra time because of the holiday. I plan to make the most of it.
Two days of school this week for the older two and then the fun can begin.
On Wednesday, we will have family chore day (early it is usually Saturday) without Daddy but I am going to make it fun. I am going to make it a contest and they can earn prizes for the silliest cleanup costume and the fastest bed maker and the like. We have to get ready for guests on Thursday and we want to make our house shine.
On Thursday we will have lots of cooking to do and the kids and Daddy will play the Wii. Oma and Opa and friends will come to eat with us and we will eat and play games and probably eat some more.
Friday we will begin putting up our Christmas decorations and make cookies and wo knows what all we will do. Although Mike does have to go in to work that evening. Saturday, Mike will work half a day and then we will finish whatever decorations we have left to do and eat lots of leftovers.
Sunday will be church of course and then back to the grindstone on Monday until Christmas break. See Mondays come toooooooooooo soon.
If I can...I will try and post some pictures and/or threads about our week...time will tell..LOL.
Posted by Unknown at 9:08 AM
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Seems like every time I try to get consistent with this blog...well...stuff comes up...life happens. So much has been going on lately, including a tummy virus that cause Jenny have a trip to the ER for an IV. NOT FUN!
Hannah had her 7th birthday and was baptized by her Daddy. (Yes the dates on the camera are wrong..my camera has issues..LOL).
Nothing is more precious than watching your child follow the Lord in water baptism...add to that Daddy doing it and yes, Mama is a emotional mushy mess.
I spoke to a lady at our church last night I hadn't had the privilege of talking with yet...she told me what a blessing it was to watch my son worship God. I was blown away. Then someone else told me, that my children were such a blessing because of how spiritually aware they are. Again I was blown away and finally someone told me that I was one of the best mothers they had ever seen. I was completely floored. Because I see my failures, my mistakes...my having to apologize to one of my children because I was too harsh or misunderstood and disciplined when they didn't do what I thought etc. I am floored. I am glad I can be a witness, but too often I feel like a failure at parenthood. I feel like I don't do enough and that I am messing up badly and then someone says that. I am blessed. God is faithful and He lets us know sometimes...I see your heart...I know you are trying and I love you.
Posted by Unknown at 1:18 PM
Sunday, November 7, 2010
I feel so blessed to be the mother of my 3 children. Their faith is so strong. All 3 have accepted the Lord into their hearts and are so open to the things of God.
Next week, on her birthday, Hannah will follow the Lord in water baptism. She is so excited. She loves her Lord so much. I am already feeling the emotion of it...the immense gratitude to God that my child wants to serve the Lord. My prayer is that she will always want to serve God with all her heart, mind, body and soul. What a precious gift is a child's heart that is yielded to the Savior.
Are my kids perfect? Absolutely not...just take this morning, Sunday morning of all things...they had to go in to major sibling issues before church. We had yet another talk with them and they have been put on warning status. There will be dire consequences the next time they get into such altercations on a Sunday morning while we are trying to get ready to go to God's house to worship Him. I have yet to decide what the appropriate consequence will be, but there will be one.
In the midst of this we still find blessing because our children so readily go to church. The love going to His house. They love to praise and worship. Watching them as they praise their Lord is truly beautiful. God is good all the time.
Posted by Unknown at 1:43 PM
Monday, October 11, 2010
Saturday, Mike and I celebrated 11 years of marriage. We have had our ups, downs, tests, trials, sorrows, joys, and walked through the valley of the shadow of death on more than one occasion. Only God can help a couple weather the storms of life in the way we have. We argue like any couple, but our love remains strong. Building a marriage on the rock called Jesus DOES make all the difference.
We made vows, 11 years ago and it has taken determination, prayer and love to make it work. Marriage is work. You don't just get married and then everything falls into place. People are different. People change. Because of these two facts, marriage is ever changing and morphing into something else. It is our choice in choosing how to react to those changes that makes the difference. Yes, there are some relationships that are toxic and dangerous. However, most problems can be worked out. Most storms can be weathered. It would surprise some if I told all the stuff we have weathered. People think we have it easy. That is far from the truth. However, on that day, 11 years ago, we purposed in our hearts we would never ever have an out. We would do whatever it takes to keep us going.
Today we have 3 beautiful children. We still have our ups and our downs. What used to be cute and adorable to each other when we first got married.......not so cute and adorable as it was then. I mean, used to if he snored...it was funny.......now I just want to sleep. Used to the tapping of the toothbrush on the sink...not to bad, now it is akin to a drum going of in the other one's head. Not because we don't love each other but because love changes and we change. Getting past the little annoyances is the key.
Learning that life is short and you never know what will happen next; helps you appreciate each other more. Standing together holding your child in your arms and not knowing if this will be his last breath; changes you. Suddenly, you find that the things you use to worry about....are not so big. Having God intervene and knowing you have been given a miracle humbles you.
Life is not a bed of roses and neither is marriage. But it is oh so worth the pricks and the stumbles and the hurts over the years when you have decided forgiveness will be a corner stone of your marriage. Forgiveness.......love.......faith.....and most of all the Lord. If you have these...you can weather things you would not believe. Does that mean there will be no more problems? Of course not. It means that together you can face them because Jesus is in control.
Posted by Unknown at 8:12 AM
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Jenny was distracted today and I said:
Jenny you are not usually distracted, what's up.
Now she wasn't being fresh because she said it, in a sweet way. I guess she thought she was just answering my question.
I need to find some other ways for her to practice her name writing. She is getting bored with the usual. So, I need to break it up.
Today we are working on several things and she is a bit distracted. I think I will take her for a Fall walk once she finishes this worksheet to help her focus.
Nothing says I have to do things a certain way. I can be flexible and tailor her day to her needs. Since we haven't done as much PreK lately she just may need to get back into the routine.
I am surprised how much she has picked up with what we have and haven't done. All of a sudden she is really getting the phonics concept and beginning sounds. We are going to work on it some more, but she really is getting it. Now if I can just be consistent well...more consistently.
So now I think we will take a walk and see those clouds that are indeed UP.
Posted by Unknown at 9:08 AM
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I think we will bake some and maybe go on a "field trip". I want to do a fall based theme. I also want to focus on phonics, counting, writing and recognizing some site words. I plan to get some contact paper and laminate some stuff I have to make it more durable.
We have lots of leaves in our yard so we will probably do some leaf crunching..LOL. I need to make sure she gets outside every day. I am going to go to the dollar tree and see if we can find some more things to add to our preK stash.
We are going to do lots of reading.
I think I also want to do a "photo" book of her day and then us make a story called Jenny goes to PreK.
We will take the photos and then write what is happening and make a story of her whole day.
Just some ideas I am kicking around.
Posted by Unknown at 6:12 PM
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Time is so fleeting. It gets away from me so quickly. I have so many intentions to get A, B, or C done and it doesn't. I am working on a more concise schedule but it fails my brain to figure out how to get it done. There are things that MUST be done each day. So there are other things that fall by the way side. Balance is hard to find. I refuse to get discouraged.
I must find more time to watch and pray.
Time to with my kids, just play.
Time to let my husband know how much he means to me
Time to smell the flowers and watch a bumble bee
Time is hurrying by
and I just stand aksing why.
Oh Lord, let me always have time for You
and to think about what it is you want me to do.
Help me bring you glory each day
and never ever forget to pray.
(copyright Thelma S. 2010)
Posted by Unknown at 5:15 PM
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Especially for keeping up in blog land. I am trying though.
Jenny fell down the stairs on Friday night. She hit her head and her left shoulder and arm. She was acting dazed and would not move her arm at all. We had our first visit to the ER in Chattanooga. We had not been to an ER since well I think...November 2009! Good thing is...prayer works. Her arm is not broken..just a severely bruised shoulder..into the muscle. And NO concussion...Praise the LORD!
She has learned a lot already. I just need to learn to work my schedule and not let my schedule work me. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and feel like I am doing her a disservice. However, deep down I know that isn't true. She is learning stuff and I don't need or have to compare her to other children and what they can do. But that competitive mommy wants to rise up and get her ahead of where she is right now. But she is right where she needs to be. She is bright and happy and knows so much. Now if only Mommy can settle down and just let fun and learning happen. She has no idea that I have been stressed out about what she can and can't do yet...LOL. Thankfully, I haven't passed that on to her. But I need to chill out before it does.
God will bless what I am doing. I just have to get competitive, want to do it all perfect Mommy out of the way. I can't do everything perfect. I am just me. She can learn from just me and do great, when I relax.
So this week I am going to tweak the schedule a bit and figure out a better way to do things. My prayer is that God will help me focus on what is important and let go of the things that are just mere fluff in comparison.
Posted by Unknown at 4:00 PM
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Life is crazy busy. I guess I didn't realize how busy I would get after school and homeschool PreK started. Add in the ever abundant allergies I am suffering since moving here and the benadryl stupor and you have a recipe for neglecting the blog. So my dear blog friends...I am making an attempt to make a come back. I really would like to blog Jenny's PreK experience if I can just be disciplined enough to get it all done.
Oh and less we forget the laundry monster has camped out at my house and I am perpetually behind on laundry. Add in the ever present need to keep the house in order and I feel like there is not enough of me to go around. Then and only then do I see a possible use for cloning (no I do not believe in cloning) in having an extra me to go around at times.
The kids are doing great! Christopher is in the BEST health he has ever been in his LIFE! We believe he has had a healing and at a recent allergy test there was a significant change in his asthma and allergies. We just gotta get the blood tests to back that up. WHEN he can be free from the dreaded allergies we are going to have a party. We are going to have pizza, ice cream and cake. Oh that will be a wonderful day; when I shout it from the mountain tops that our son is HEALED! His asthma is almost non existent! I am in awe of what God is doing in his body!
The girls are doing great. Hannah loves first grade and has quite a gaggle of giggly girls and boys she talks about daily. She reads like no body's business! She is a good girl too.....and well.......because of genetics along with nurture.......a chatter box. Not that I would KNOW where she received the chatty Cathy gene..LOL.
|Mom, do you have to take so many pictures. Taken early one summer morning after we first got up.|
Posted by Unknown at 11:39 AM
Friday, August 13, 2010
Yesterday we had our 2nd day of PreK. It wasn't as much as the first day because we had ladies Bible Study and I took Jenny with me. I hadn't called ahead for babysitting because of many reasons. Anyway, I took some preK pages with us and her coloring book. She did awesome, she colored, she listened, colored some more. And I know the word of God was getting into her spirit whether or not she understands or not. When everyone was praying with one another she was there, laying her little hands on people and praying with them too. It was PRECIOUS!
We came home had lunch and a nap.
On the first day of school, Jenny and I walked down to the bust stop.
The bus was due to arrive at 3:18 then I was told by someone driving by it doesn't come until 3:30 after I was getting slightly worried. At 3:34 I began to worry again. At 3:40 I called my husband and he called the school..."oh the bus is late" says the school. Uh yeah..really late. at 3:45 still no kids. I was scared spit less. At 3:50 as I was picking up my cell to call the school and 911 and God and everyone I could think of the neighbor's mother (mil) not sure whom the kids and I have both med pulls up and says I have your kids the bus dropped them off on the wrong street!
Anger, fear, anger does not begin to describe it!
My son TOLD the bus driver his address and the man's response I don't have you on my list just have a SEAT! then Christopher seeing the name of our subdivision NOT knowing there are two different streets that enter it said I think this is it.
The driver did NOT check it against the address MY SON gave him and dropped them OFF!I was so angry I could not see straight. I was just shy of hysterical only keeping it together because Jenny was freaking OUT! My kids were so brave and Christopher did the right thing. I thought my babies were GONE! I have not known such fear in my life. I thought someone had taken my babies! Thank God HE and HE alone protected my precious children!
I called the school on Thursday morning after meeting the bus driver and introducing him to our children. And letting him know where to drop them. I kept my Christian witness through HIS strength alone. I also called the school and reported it. Yesterday afternoon they were dropped in the correct place.
Trust at a time like that isn't that you do not trust God but that you don't know where or who has your children. You do know God has promised to protect. However, you have heard countless news stories of kids taken walking home from school. So yeah...I knew God was on my side but in those moments fear ruled and I barely kept myself calm for the sake of Jenny. God is good all the time!
Posted by Unknown at 9:35 AM
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
My new adventure is to homeschool Preschool Jenny since we could not get her in voluntary PreK. We are so excited, Jenny and I. Settling in the house in coming along and life is getting to a new normal.
Here is what we have done so far today:
PreK this morning:
Jenny and I took kids to school, stopped to have outside playtime at the park. Had snack--counted 10 animal crackers to go with raisins, name writing practice. Now we are going to match alphabet letters to our alphabet train I have spread on the floor.
She is matching pictures from a memory game that are the same..instead of using it as the traditional memory game. Then she is going to cut pieces of red paper to glue on an apple for a back to school project.
Then she is going to play on the swing set for a bit and we are going to go on a hunt for stuff that is yellow in the yard to see if we can find things to make a collage with.
Posted by Unknown at 10:45 AM
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I dreamed a dream last night that I can't quite retell but it has something to do with the Prov 31 woman and the holy of holies. About how someone kept trying to tell me I couldn't go into the holy of holies cause I wasn't good enough, dressed enough etc...but my Lord stepped in and said "I have clothed you. You may enter in because I am your covering".....oh My word I am rejoicing this morning....what a dream!
So many people communicate to others why they think a person is not worthy to enter in to fellowship with our Lord. However the truth of the matter is that there is not one among us who could really be worthy apart from the Lord Jesus. He said to the woman's accusers "you who are without sin, cast the first stone". None of us can stand holy and worthy before the Lord. But Jesus in His infinite mercy and love clothes us with HIS righteousness. I can not stand worthy but my Lord covers me. His covering is beyond description. He knows me to my innermost depths. He knows my hopes, dreams, fears and secrets. He hears my cries and covers me with His love, mercy, compassion and forgiveness.
We as Christians make mistakes everyday. There is not one among us who NEVER sins. Sin does not have to equal the "big sins". Sin can be gossip or something that seems simple. But NO sin is simple. We don't set out to sin but often times we do. Or perhaps, God is telling us to do something and we don't want to do it so we ignore Him. That in the eyes of a Holy Lord........can be the sin of rebellion. So.....none of us are worthy no not one but......our Lord steps in when we ask Him and covers us. Sin it says in the Bible so easily besets us. Not because we necessarily, WANT to sin but because we are fleshly creatures who forget to think through the mind Christ put in us. We think and act first, too many times, with our regular mind. Instead of the one, God set apart in Him. Does it mean there is no hope and that all we can ever do is sin so there is no point? No it means that Christ is the only way we can stand against sin or in the Holy of Holies.
Negativity of others crushes more people than one can even imagine. Christians judge others unworthy for many reasons. I have been judged on many occasions and found lacking by mankind but my Lord found me a beautiful treasured covered by His redeeming love. I have seen so many pushed out because they weren't cleaned up enough to enter in...but yet Jesus came for whosoever...whosoever is not always the one who looks cleaned up and ready to go into the Holy of Holies. Often times those who "look ready" are hiding their secrets and burdens under their prettied up dressing. When if we saw us as Jesus saw us we'd all be standing in rags. But Jesus arraigns us in the covering of beauty through HIS sacrifice. No I am not perfect, I often have felt like I lack what is needed...but my Lord dressed me with HIS covering......His love and His peace. So when you are feeling unworthy, unkempt and undesirable.....cry out to the ONLY one who can take you into the Holy of Holies clothed in HIS beauty and HIS love. For under His covering I can stand before my God and cry out to Him and be heard and seen as a treasure to be loved and gently held close to His heart because my Jesus' covering enables me to stand in the Holy of Holies.
Posted by Unknown at 10:15 AM
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Packing up the truck and heading out to the new city today. Our family will be together again instead of trying to keep up two households. Mike has been in the other city for 8 weeks now...I think and most of it spent there. He came home some but being apart has been hard. He wasn't able to be with me when we lost Miya. He couldn't be here for the last week of school. So much he had to miss out on, but it was only temporary.
Doing so much by myself with the kids this last few weeks had made me so much more aware of what single Moms go through. At least I knew at the end of it all, we would be together again. So grateful to God that I do not have to walk life's highway without a live person to walk with me.
We are going to a rental house. Has a yard with a fence all the way around and an office/playroom and many other benefits over an apartment. We can get out in the backyard and play with our children and chase fireflies and all those things I grew up doing.
I feel sad at the same time too. We have many friends here and family. While it is only 2 hours East of here it is still not going to be the same. We have had a good almost 3 years here. Life is an adventure...now as we walk through this next door; I wonder what God has in store.
Hopefully after we get moved in and the computer up and running and we are somewhat settled; I can blog again.
Speaking of moving day and all that goes with it. Cleaning and packing makes me realize how much God wants to clean out of our lives and for us to get rid of the junk. When you pack a house, inevitably you discard stuff, junk that has accumulated that you really don't need. Stuff you were hanging onto for whatever reason that no longer makes sense. God wants to do that in our hearts too. We accumulate "stuff". We hand onto hurts, regrets, pains that we need to let go of. When if we'd let it go and let God clean it out; our lives would function much better. So God......I give you permission to clean out and get rid of any junk that has no place in my heart.
Create in me, Oh Lord a heart that doesn't hold onto junk. A heart open to you and the changes YOU have planned. A heart of love an ministry. Let this adventure of moving be a new lease on my soul as well. Let me be ready and willing to do whatever you are calling us to do through this adventure.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Miya........she lived to short of a time, but what a great teacher she was. Things I learned from Miya:
Even when in pain, you can find a reason to smile.
Love and once you love someone never let go.
Just cause someone says no, doesn't mean you can't try.
Telling people I love you more...has lots of payback.
Joy is in the journey not the hardship.
Never give up trying to get what you want.
The small things in life, like bubbles and stuffed ducks are important. Enjoy them.
Shoes are not important, it is better to be barefoot.
Love knows no boundaries. You can love lots of people in a short time and endear them all to your heart.
The more you love, the more friends you have.
Love has no limitations, even if your body does.
Friends are treasures and gifts, hold them close and camp out in their heart.
There is not enough time in the day to take time for a nap. Too many things to do, see, say and explore. Live life to its fullest.
So many lessons I learned from sweet Miya girl. These barely touch the surface. She greatly impacted my life and I will forever treasure the things I learned from sweet Miya. She had some rough days, but she kept trying.
Monday, May 24, 2010
While they can not understand in full....as evidenced by my 3 year old asking...."Is Miya still died"? The faith of a child helps them grasp the things of death better than you thought. Jenny has been talking about Miya non stop. I explained to the kids yesterday after deciding they will go with me to the viewing, about the body left behind. I told them it was not the real Miya, just her body, her shell. That the soul of Miya, her spirit, what made her Miya is with Jesus and she has a new body that has no pain and no owies.
So Jenny went into her nursery at church last night and told her teacher. "Miya is died but her is in heaven with Jesus and her has a new body". I did not know she would grasp it enough to explain it to someone else. She has also said in the last couple days "Mommy Miya's wiver is not bwoken anymore".....so true. The other two have talked about Miya playing in heaven. So precious.
I told them that they can be sad and at the same time it is okay to laugh if they feel joy during the day. That just because they are sad doesn't mean they can't enjoy life. That if they need to cry they can. If they don't want to cry they don't have to. I told them their feelings are okay. I explained (and will again) the behavior they will need at the viewing. That it is okay to be a little scared or worried, or sad or even okay if they don't know what to feel. They can ask questions but must do so with a soft, respectful voice.
This will be a life lesson. They can say goodbye to their friend who is basking in the presence of Jesus. I am sure more questions will come. But hopefully I am helping them through this journey of grief, saying good bye to a dear friend.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Can Miya really be gone? Shouldn't the world have stopped spinning on its axis? The impact she left on our lives is so real. I feel numb. I can't imagine the grief of those closer to her, when my own grief is palable. I was not ready to say good bye. I completely believed God would heal her this side of heaven. Why He chose to take her home to heal her, I will never know. Yet, God is His love and wisdom knows.
I know that Miya would not want to come back. She would not want pain and suffering. She is happy. She is free. She is sitting in the presence of the Savior. That is awesome.
Yet, those of us who remain are left with grief so pervasive it filters into our dreams. The loss of Miya is like a part of our hearts have left. There is an empty spot in my heart. Yes I know, I still have my memories, the love she left in her place in my heart. Yet, today...that is not enough. I know it is selfish, but I'd like to hold her...touch her...kiss her sweet face. I got to see her one last time before she left this earth.
Miya was hooked up to every machine known to mankind. Drugs pumping in her wee little body to do all kind of things I don't even understand. I spoke to her and she struggled to open her eyes. She was so sedated. But I know she KNEW I was there. I know she KNEW I loved her.
Oh sweet, sweet Miya girl.....I am glad you are free from pain, but I miss you.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Yesterday I fed Jenny ravioli out of can for lunch. This is NOT a normal meal at our house because it is so full of sodium. I personally don't like them but Jenny wanted them and someone had given us a couple of cans. ( I still have 1 can left). So I let her have them.
Her brother and sister came home from school and she told them and I quote:
"Today for lunch I had Holy Macaroni"!
I guess the child likes raviolis. I will be making this myself soon instead of the canned variety. I know she will love these and they will be much better.
But Holy Macaroni? What is it the best tasting thing she has ever had? Super macaroni? I still have no idea WHY she labeled this meal HOLY.
Posted by Unknown at 4:53 PM
Monday, April 12, 2010
Changes are afoot in our household. Mike has been hired at a different avionic technician shop (whatever you call it). He starts April 19th. Starting pay will be what he makes now. The BUT is that it is in the Chattanooga area, two hours or so from where we live now. So the kids and I will be holding down the fort here until they finish school and while I pack up our home. Mike will begin there, a week from now. He will work there and look for us a place to live.
Add to that, that he was interviewed for a church. He was a guest speaker there this weekend. It is in a town near Chattanooga. Now we are in wait mode to hear from the church board and pulpit committee. WOW!
God is in control. I am not sure what is going to take place the next 6-8 weeks or so, except for moving. I do not know where we will lay our heads in two months, but God does. I do not know if we will get this church, but God does. I do not know where my kids will go to school next year, but God does. So many "unknowns" but I KNOW the one in control of the uknown.
My heart is in perfect peace that our Lord is in control.
God is so good.
(p.s. what happened to the spell check button? I can not find it..LOL)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
- Jenny had put on a dress, a furry princess shawl, fake princess hair and all sorts of stuff and said "I am going on a date" I said "who with" she said "someone" I said "I need to know who you are going with. She said "Brudder"...LOL.
- Okay Christopher had his dress up dr clothes on and was pretending to deliver babies on his stuffed animals and he told the mommy......"squeeeeeze.........squeeeeeeeeeze.......squeeze" LOL. I have a feeling the talk is looming around the corner....LOL LOL LOL
- Jenny and Hannah are acting out when Jesus said "Peace Be Still" to the wind and the waves. Hannah was going to play Jesus. Jenny said no you are not Jesus, He is up dere in the middle" LOL.......so cute.
- Christopher told the girls the whole Easter story, death to resurrection all by himself to his sisters and Hannah piped in and said Yeah Mary went to check on Jesus and the angel said He isn't here (like the angel said it in a DUH voice) and Jenny clapped her hands and said YAY!...Easter from children's perspective...PRICELESS.
- A commercial came on that said not spending money doesn't make you happy, saving money makes you happy. Christopher said "uh uh, that's not right. God makes you happy"! That's my boy!
Posted by Unknown at 8:22 PM
Friday, April 2, 2010
Jenny and I just had the following conversation:
Jenny said" Mommy our hearts are bumping."
"I said "yeah, why does our heart bump"
She said " cause Jesus is in there and He has to live in our hearts...."
We have been having a lot of these discussions lately. Her 3 year old faith astounds me. Seeing the love and faith for God blossoming in her amazes me. I pray my children always have the faith they have now.
Posted by Unknown at 8:38 AM
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Last night at church, Hannah and Jenny's class talked about salvation. They make a "present" to represent the gift of salvation. Jenny left class and said "Oh wait I can't forget my salvation. I needs my salvation"...came home and unwrapped her little homemade bookmark with John 3:16 on it and said "I will keeps my ...salvation forever."
Hannah wants to take her present and give it to her teacher. "Mommy I'll give it to Mrs Higgins." Now both those girls have just preached powerful messages. Jenny in that we must hold onto our salvation and take it with us wherever we go and Hannah and that we need to share our salvation with others.
Yep...the gospel presented in simple terms, out of the mouths of babes!
Posted by Unknown at 6:46 AM
Posted by Unknown at 6:44 AM
Thursday, March 18, 2010
James 1:2-18Considering it joy in the midst of the trial or storm is not easy. In our current situation, it is hard. Mike's job is in the threat of lay off EVERY DAY! As we face this battle, this test, we have stumbled and tripped and made some mistakes in dealing with it. We have let the stress get to us. Counting it joy, does not mean it doesn't hurt and it is easy. Counting it joy means we know the one who IS in control. Knowing that truly every good and perfect gift does come from Him. What seems like something bad and hard, may very well turn out to be a greater gift than you could ever imagind. That is what I am trusting. That my God, my Lord, my King is going to help us persevere. That the mistakes we have made in dealing with the stress is far less than the joy on the other side of this trial.
Trials and Temptations
2.Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
3.because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
4.Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
5.If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
6.But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
7.That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;
8.he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
9.The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position.
10.But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower.
11.For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.
12.Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
13.When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;
14.but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.
15.Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16.Don't be deceived, my dear brothers.
17.Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
18.He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
I purpose in my heart to walk through this with joy and grace and not let the enemy win through attacks of fear and despair. I will not be be tempted by fear and frustration, nor will I let it grow. I will walk with purpose and faith and joy through this trial. God did not CAUSE this but He will lead us through it. I will purpose in my heart to pray for Mike differently, more ferverently, more often, with greater understanding. The full weight of what happens during lay off is on my husband's shoulders. While I do feel stress as well, as the sole provider of the house hold income my husband is facing so much more than I can grasp. I pray for my Lord to undergird him and uphold him with HIS righteous right hand. God alone will get the glory through this.
I purpose in my heart to trust even when there seems to be no way. I purpose to stay true to my Lord and count it all joy and know that on the other side of it, I will have grown and Mike will have grown. God is faithful, all we have to do is rest in that promise and all the promises He has made to His children.
Posted by Unknown at 9:27 AM
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Posted by Unknown at 8:42 AM
Friday, March 5, 2010
Hosea 2:15 says in part..."She will sing as in the days of her youth". Today that was restored to me. As a child, I used to go about my day singing and making up my own litte praise songs to the Lord. I stopped that day long ago because I thought I had to be "able to sing" to praise. How misguided insecurity is to the person who takes it to heart.
So today I sing a new song, a song of freedom, a song of joy asong of my heart to the very one who made my heart. I am overwhelmed by my Lord.
Posted by Unknown at 1:44 PM
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I think it is no accident that I received my Beth Moore book about Insecurity the same week our ladies group started the Psalms of Ascent Bible study.
An all to familiar thing happened yesterday when my insecurity smacked me hard in the face and I turned into a woman most people would not recognize. Quite honestly I freaked out over something that wasn't worth freaking out over. My oh so wise husband picked up on it without hearing my tirade and did the right thing. He is a very smart man.
I am all too aware that my insecurities can effect my dear sweet children if I am not careful. Yesterday, while in freak out mode, I said some things and such that I am not proud of as I ranted out loud, instead of to myself with them in the other room. Yeah....way to go Mom. I had to spend some of my on my face time before God repenting for my attitude brought on by my insecurities. Ahhh yes, we women...so insecure about some things in our lives. For one woman it is one thing, and for another it is different but when it boils down to it.........insecurity can turn you into someone you don't even recognize yourself. And in that insecurity I want to Step up to the next level in God as He pulls me out of the pit of insecurity on the the next level with Him.
So today I am making a plan on how to address some of these insecurities. My insecurity tends to paralyze me into inactivity instead of using it to do something about the very things I am insecure about and DO have the ability to change. So instead of wallowing in it...I need to be proactive and do something about the things I CAN change. The other stuff I have to let go and let GOD...because I can't change other people.
I will step up to the next level and I WILL gain control over these insecurities with the help of my Lord.
(And yes I am promoting these books and suggest that all women need to read the book and do the study.)
Monday, March 1, 2010
The I don't wanna do anything but stay in my jammies blues....LOL.
It has been an interesting weekend....yeah that's the word...interesting.
It started on Saturday morning 15 before 7, my sister called to tell me she had called 911 for my nephew. I told her I'd meet her there. He collapsed and an ambulance was on the way to rush him to the hosptial. He was rushed to the nearest hospital lights and sirens barely responsive and throwing heart arrythmias. Once he arrived they did a blood sugar test it was only 36. They gave him some kind of stuff that looked like karo syrup in his IV. In any case we spent all day at two different hospitals. Tentative diagnosis after a little over 24 hours in the hospital is hypoglyocemia. He is home and doing better..but what a ride. On Sunday we took my sister her van after church and the day was filled with go go go. Then in the middle of the night last night Hannah puked. Unknown to me thanks to benadryl but Mike took care of it. He is such a good Daddy. The weekend has been a blur. Oh did I mention, my dryer is toast. So we had to do some laundry at the in laws, rather Mike did it while I was with my sister. Yesterday, we had to pick up said dry laundry, thanks to my mother in law who folded it for us.
So tonight, we have to go looking for a dryer if everyone is better and well enough.
So now you know why I have the I don't wanna get dressed blues...LOL
Posted by Unknown at 9:57 AM
Thursday, February 25, 2010
And I think there is a conspiracy plot afoot. Apparently Mr. Sandman does not like me and I have offended him in some way. Every 2 hours I am awakened from sweet slumber for no apparent reason. I do not feel that urgent need to pray, like when God wakes you for that purpose. I just wake up. It then takes at least 20 minutes to go back to sleep. This happens all night long. Sometimes I wake more than every 2 hours. So I must figure out how to get back in the good graces of the king of sleep land...Mr. Sandman.
Today is going to be a long day. Much to do, so little time. The tasks of motherhood way heavy on my weary body. I woke up this morning with a scratch throat and a feeling.....I just can't do it today. BUT.....I have to do it. Motherhood gives you no time to be weary. I am not complaining, just stating facts. I love being a wife and mother. It would be just a little easeir with some.....well SLEEP.
I am watching my children sit and snooze as they wait for breakfast to get ready, all cuddled on the couch and chair. AHH to crawl right up next to them and take those little warm bodies and tuck them up next to my heart and slumber away. That is the best.
At least my dear husband is up with me. But he is a morning person, for me the lights are on but nobody is home. So now off to find the coffee pot and some caffienne.
Posted by Unknown at 6:23 AM
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Our "magic growth elixir" arrives for Christopher. His growth hormone arrives today via Fed Ex on dry ice. Now I do know it isn't really magic and his growth will be different than any other child on the medication. However, this is so exciting. I can't imagine him growing! At 9 he is 43 and 3/8 inches and is 39 lbs. He wears a size 6 and those are big. He is tiny but he is mighty.
I have no magical ideas that it is going to be immediate or the cure all. But it does give us hope for the answers to his eating/appetite issues, his allergies and asthma because growth WILL help all these factors. Hope is a good thing.
I was trying to keep this a daily entry blog but could not do that for various reasons. However, I am hoping to track Christopher's progress at least on a weekly basis. I am thinking of doing a growth photo of the week and post it once a week. I know it may take a bit for the change to show but over time we should see a change. I am praying that God will use this for Christopher's good.
So watch this blog and watch my little boy GROW......
Posted by Unknown at 8:40 AM
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
My children are in the kitchen playing like eveything they touch turns to chocolate....touch touch touch..your chocolate. They finally did get dressed and off to school. Talk about the "Midas" touch.
Jenny is singing Angels we have heard on high..only it is "angel we have on when we are hyper".......LOL LOL LOL. Glad they have angels on when they are hyper.
If you don't do what I want I'll tell on you. (Had to intervene on this one).
Romance is when you go out to eat together and do stuff. (definition of romance by a 6 year old).
No Barbie you have to sit in time out, you were naughty. (Have no idea what Barbie did but apparently she is in big trouble, she has been in time out a might long time.)
Jesus loves us cause well He's Jesus. (Christopher explaining Jesus).
Jesus..He is God (from Jenny age 3, she gets it).
Jesus, He forgives us all the time, any time. (From Hannah..she said something to that effect but could't get it all. I was eaves dropping..LOL).
I will revisit this thread idea at a later time. But oh how cute, funny, sometimes naughty and sometimes so poignant and filled with truth the words of my children are when I stop to listen.
Posted by Unknown at 8:05 AM
Monday, February 15, 2010
Make the one post per day for the year...I haven't blogged since the 3rd due to well life...LOL. Kids sick, I was sick and the like. But you know...that IS life. The world will not stop and there is no way I am going all the way back to the 3rd and recreate posts..LOL. 12 days of posts are a lot to cover..LOL.
Today I am having wish it were spring cleaning day. The kids are off for President's day so sounds like a good idea.
I will take them out to play in the snow later if it doesn't melt before this afternoon. It was very cloudy, but suddenly the sun is out, working on our snow..LOL. We barely got an inch so I don't know how long it will last.
I think we might make cookies today too. Time will tell, it all depends on how good they do their rooms and if I have to do follow up cleaning..LOL.
Okay off to clean now.....now where did I put the windex????
Posted by Unknown at 9:47 AM
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
1. Do not attempt to get your children to agree on a movie. This will not happen.
2. Do not attempt to go to story time, thinking they will actually have story time. If school is cancelled so is story time at the library.
3. Do not attempt to make a new and exciting dish, the kids will not eat it.
4. Do not attempt to convince the children that being cranky means they need a nap. They will only pretend to nap.
5. Do not attempt to get the children to use their imaginations. After all, having had days of using one's imagination wears out ones imagination, and they make complaints of I don't know what to do.
6. Do not in any circumstances expect one's children to clean their rooms. For if one does, one will find said toys under said child's bed instead of in the toy bin.
7. Do not think that television will be a easy distraction. Said children are tired of TV.
Things to do:
1. Be surprised to find out your children actually want YOU to read to them, well as long as you make the words come alive and can let them help you read (kindergartner).
2. Let them teach you while playing school.
3. Cuddle, cuddle and cuddle some more.
4. Remember that you used to get bored too and couldn't figure out what to do. Distinctly recall telling your mother in that whiny voice "but there is nothing to do".
5. Treasure the moments because school will come again and you will miss these little people.
6. Last but not least think of ways to make the ground hog not see his shadow. After all he would not have seen it if they had not had all those silly lights for the TV cameras shining on him. Really......can't spring come already?
Posted by Unknown at 10:26 AM
Monday, February 1, 2010
It was another snow day today. The kids are beginning to be bored out of their skulls. Family togetherness is wonderful. However, after a bit, too much family togetherness wears on siblings ability to agree. I mean when one is fighting over who gets to go to the bathroom first when there are 3 kids and 3 potties available it means we have had too much togetherness.
Sibling rivalry, I get it. I had 1 sister and two brothers to contend with growing up. My mother, did not get it so much, well, so she says, she was an only child. I kindly pointed out one day, when I was grumbling (yeah I know I am not supposed to grumble) that she argued with her cousins who were like sisters to her. She said, I don't think I'd have done it so much with a sister. I said, sure you would have, imagine your cousin with you 24/7. She said well you have a point. She loves her cousins and they had a great time together but they did wear on one another's nerves after a time.
So today was the mass chaos of sibling rivalry. It did bring back some memories of my siblings and I and the silly things we argued over. I distinctly remember getting mad at my twin sister because she wouldn't play "old lady" right. We used TV tray stands as our walkers. You know those kind you can attach and unattach to metal legs. Ahhh yes, such was the fun of child hood with no electronic entertainment. One could argue over the proper use of imagination.
Posted by Unknown at 10:18 AM
Sunday, January 31, 2010
It was a lazy Sunday since church was canceled due to the icy conditions of the road. It was a bit weird not having church and staying home. I slept in until almost 10, thanks to my darling husband. WHAT a TREAT!
We took the girls out to build a snowman in the slush of melting snow. Christopher was tossing his cookies so he supervised from the window.
I was thinking, you know, it is these things the kids will remember. Mommy and Daddy building snowmen with them and sledding and throwing snowballs. They will not remember what they received for Christmas or birthdays on most years. However, they will remember, that Mommy and Daddy played with them.
These are the kodak moments of memory building. Cherished memories that will last a life time.
Posted by Unknown at 10:05 AM
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Posted by Unknown at 12:02 PM
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Posted by Unknown at 11:53 AM
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Typed as he wrote it, misspellings and all. This exercise was for thought production, not spelling. Although he can spell better than he wrote this, it was a paper he wrote in school during a brain storm exercise.(My thoughts or word corrections are in parenthesis.
My day was a grate day. I would travel all around the world and space. My powers are all the powers there ever was. Frist (first) I we3nt into ourter space to save an aline(alien) and the rest of the world.
My side kik is my dog Thelma. (giggle added by me, I am his sidekick?). When we found the perfict home in Mexico, we saved anybody and everybody. I would change the world. Every were I went, I would have the Bible, with me to gide (guide) me.
(Okay this made me melt, as a super hero the Bible would be his guide, can a Mama be any prouder of a child who says that.) I saved 1,000 people in one day. The next day I and no powers any more. It was a dreem(dream). That day I tride(tried) to fly but I couldn't.
Posted by Unknown at 11:46 AM
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
It is not ME who is putting off working out when I should be hitting the exercise like a mad woman.
It is not ME who is putting off the household chores today either.
It is not ME who is letting her 3 year old watch TV all morning.
It is not ME who is still in her pajamas at almost 11 am.
It is not ME who has so much to do that if she does not unglue herself from whatever the chosen sitting surface at the time is, will regret it.
It is not ME who should have gone to the Y today and done a real work out.
It is not ME who has a love/hate relationship with the scale. I can't seem to stop checking even though no progress has been shown on said scale after 2 weeks of making an effort to lose weight.
It is not ME who has to help the kids make valentine's boxes for school and has no idea where to start.
It is not ME who has to help her Kindergartner make a 100 days project but hasn't even started. It is due Friday.
It is not ME who is going to cheat on her "diet" and have some Chinese food for lunch. Although I will take advantage of portion control.
It is not ME who enjoys using her children's baby bowl to eat cereal out of so she doesn't eat to much. Besides the little sheep in the bottom are so cute.
It is not ME who will be counting the fit as a real work out, should I ever get around to it today.
Ahhh so glad none of that is ME!
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I go upstairs after putting the girls to bed. I hear their chatter and am about to correct them and tell them in no uncertain terms "Go to bed and Go so Sleep". I paused for just a moment and listened. Here is what I heard. They were singing their own songs, praise songs, they made for Jesus.
Hannah: I love Jesus, He lives in my heart. (She sang it over and over, so sweetly).
Jennifer: I got treasure, I got treasure, I got treasure...I pray to Jesus (She too singing it over and over so sweetly)
They were singing it in tune with their lullaby music box thingy. It was so precious. I am so glad I did not go rushing in. I am so glad I paused, and listened. For in taking time to pause, I heard nothing but sweet, precious innocence singing to the Lord.
And that was my treasure for all of time. When Mary pondered things in her heart, I bet it felt just like what I heard my girls doing. Such joy, such love, such wonder to hear my babies praising their Jesus.
Posted by Unknown at 10:00 PM
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Saturday seems to be the day for pajamas, silliness and family time. We had a great day. We played the Wii, we watched movies, we laughed and we snuggled. These are the times that go by so fast.
Our kids enjoy these times. I wonder how long it will be before they have friends to see, places to go and things to do. Right now a lazy Saturday gives them and us great joy.
And if we don't get out of our jammies, who cares, we are warm, cozy and submersed in love.
Posted by Unknown at 7:32 AM
Friday, January 22, 2010
Posted by Unknown at 7:27 AM
Thursday, January 21, 2010
- We have had some warmer weather lately.
- The kids are all well and no one, not one person in this house is ill.
- I have a body that works, even if it doesn't lose weight like I want it to.
- Love comes in all shapes and sizes, fits everyone, and never expires.
- My Lord is always with me, even when I am my ugliest in spirit and action and deed.
- My family loves me, even with wild hair and in sweat pants.
- That my children have truly learned compassion for others.
Posted by Unknown at 7:24 AM
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Do you realize you made my day? When I was calling Jennifer to come and that it was time to go, you watched.
(Jennifer was playing with a video game they had in the waiting room. She did not want to leave. I said Jennifer that is one, then had to do that is two and finally Jennifer that is it, it is time to go. Just in a firm, no nonsense tone. Jennifer pouted but she came and I said you need a new attitude young lady, please find it, or something to that effect).
You said, dear ,kind, older lady, Good job you handled that well" I smiled and said thank you, but I wonder if you really know how much that made my day. You noticed a Mom doing something right and you made a comment on it. You hear all the time about people putting other women down about their parenting, but you my kind lady were so sweet. Thank you. I do not know you and will never see you again, but you made my day. Thank you.
A Mom who every once in a while needs an atta girl too.
Posted by Unknown at 4:35 PM
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I once had a brain but today is has been non existent. Kids being kids, tiredness, life...it tends to suck the brain right out of your head. The kids have been both cute and not so cute. Kids are kids. They have their moments, just as we do.
Posted by Unknown at 5:52 PM
Monday, January 18, 2010
the compassion for Haiti. Tonight she said I'll sing a song for them. She then proceeded to sing Jesus loves me. But you know she has a point. Jesus loves her and loves the people of Haiti.
I pray that my children will always have compassion for others. Because we can have everything but if we don't have love we are like a clanging symbol....making a lot of noise but accomplishing nothing. I want to be a melody of love.
My children sing a melody with their love for others and it is beautiful.
Posted by Unknown at 8:12 PM
My son has it that is. He is 9 years old. Saturday we dropped some stuff off at Goodwill and he asked can it go to the people in Haiti and I said not honey it doesn't go to the Haitian people, and he was staring out the car window deep in thought. Suddenly he starts sobbing. I ask what's wrong. He said Mommy, I am just to upset about Haiti, it's awful. People died and they don't have water and food and the kids and people are hurt. I want to give my money to the people in Haiti, pulls out the 5 dollars he has in his pocket and hands it to me. My little boy..is so moved by the people in Haiti he could not speak. He wants to find a way to raise money for the Haitian people. My little boy is so tender hearted and precious.
Also last night we were watching a movie about Rosa Parks. It was not a violent movie but it did talk about what was going on at the time. He is old enough to watch it and we watched it with him. He said Mommy if I had lived then, I would have told those mean people they were wrong and I'd have made a difference cause I'd have helped Mr. King make a difference cause we are all special and God created us all and it is just wrong to be mean to people like that. I'd have stood up for them. My sweet boy.....can i be more proud.....he truly does have the heart of a champion.
Posted by Unknown at 1:51 PM
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Posted by Unknown at 1:45 PM
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Posted by Unknown at 1:41 PM
Friday, January 15, 2010
Our ladies meeting this month was awesome. God really met us all there and poured out His Spirit on the ladies. One little girl accepted Jesus as her Savior. Another little girl, as is our belief in the Pentecostal faith, received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. Watching children praise Jesus and give their hearts to Him......indescribable.
The speaker gave a good message and one statement stood out and stuck with me.
We have to let go of our past to be in our present and go into our future.This can only be done through Jesus. If we don't let go of our past, be it hurts we received, sins we have committed and been forgiven of, but that we still feel guilt over; we can not move on in Him. He needs us to let go and let Him have control. If we hang onto those things, we can not operate in the fullness of what He has called us to. We are saying, in a way, that Jesus was not and is not big enough to forgive, heal, and take those things to the cross as He did. We are saying, in a word, that what He did on the cross, was not enough to rid us of pain, sin, guilt and shame. His bore it ALL to the cross. He didn't just take some people's sins. He took them all. He did not bare some people's pain, sickness and grief to the cross. He bore it all that we might live. That my friends is the message. He is enough to erase it all. We just have to let it go. The moment we ask, it is done, BUT we have to let it go and put it down to get rid of it. We can't say "take this" and then still hold onto it.
What a message! It was powerful and it was awesome and our Lord met us there.
I am letting some stuff go. It doesn't matter if the people that hurt me in the past, ever said I'm sorry, forgive me, I was wrong. It matters that I let it go and not only walk in forgiveness but walk in the freedom of letting go.
I too often am guilty of holding onto things I should let go. I stew on it and let it simmer. I say I forgive and I mean it, but I let the pain of the event simmer. That is saying that Jesus is not strong enough to heal the hurt. He is strong enough. He did it on the cross before I was ever hurt. When I was hurt, He was standing there with me; taking the pain for me. Could He have stopped it? Most certainly, He could have. However, He being who He is, must let people make choices. Some people choose to hurt others. Does it mean that we are less important? No, it means that when people make wrong, free will based choices, people get hurt. Only the blood shed on the cross can erase that pain. And the person doing that hurt will only get freedom when they humble themselves and repent before a mighty God.
We can choose to break the power of the hurt by letting it go, regardless of whether the other person ever asks forgiveness. We then will be free. And the power of the pain and wrong will have no hold on us. That is the beauty of the cross.
So I choose to walk in freedom. I choose to let things go. I choose to believe in the power of the Savior who died on the cross. I choose to let God draw others to Him and change in them what needs to be changed. I choose to be free from the past, walk in the freedom of the present to be prepared to live in freedom for all eternity long, which is my future.
Posted by Unknown at 10:30 PM
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tonight I all but lost my temper and patience with my Hannah. She is a good reader for a kindergartner. I was doing her homework with her. She was working on the sounds of "ir" and "er". She knows all her letters phonetically. The words she was given she has read before. Tonight she decided it would be cute to play dumb and act like she had no idea what sounds "er" and "ir" made, much less the letter H or the letter F.
I had to send her to her room. She really and truly made me so angry because she is very smart. She pretended to not know and act like she was not going to figure it out. I have no idea why, unless she just didn't want to do it. I never EVER want my kids to dumb them selves down because of peer pressure or whatever
I am not totally sure why it made me so mad. I do have a clue but it is from my upbringing. I do not EVER want to put the way I was raised onto my children. I did explain to her, after I regained my composure it isn't good to act like we don't know something when we do. I explained she can not do that nor may she disrespect her Mommy.
I hugged her and cuddled her and reassured her that Mommy loves her no matter what she does. I love my children. I really do. I want what is best for them. However, I do not want them to settle for just getting by in anything. I want them to live up to their potential.
So.........this Mommy has a long way to go, to get to Prov 31 Mommy status. That woman was amazing. I am a work in progress. I know she is only 6. I have to allow for that as well. But why oh why would she dumb herself down (for lack of a better term). We encourage our children even when they make mistakes. We don't expect perfection or even all A's. But we do expect them to do their best.
Ahhh yes, one test Mommy failed........frustration 1 , Mommy 0. But tomorrow it can be frustration 0 and Mommy 1. Sometimes I do well with frustration, other times, not so much.
So here, I admit......I make mistakes. I am a Mommy that is growing and learning. I guarantee that there is not one mother on the planet that never makes mistakes, that never loses her patience, that never has to step back and give themselves a time out. I sent my daughter to her room, not for punishment but to gather myself. Did I yell at her....yes.....was that right......no but I did tell her I was sorry, we talked about it and moved on. But in being genuine in my blog; I must admit my failures as well as my triumphs. I am a work in progress and God isn't finished with me yet.
Posted by Unknown at 9:21 PM
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The kids put on play for me. Christopher was the knight and here he is giving the "princess elf" her princess status. It was so much fun watching them. They were so cute.
Here is the princess thanking him with a kiss
And here is Queen Hannah and Princess Jennifer with the knight bowing to royalty. Somehow the princess elf has taken over the Knight's trusty stallion.
Posted by Unknown at 10:33 AM
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Mommy understands that you had a bad dream. I cuddled you and all the stuff we normally do. Why did it not work? I brought you downstairs and gave you a drink. I tried all my tricks so I let you watch Sesame Street at 2:30 am. You enjoyed it until you fell asleep in the chair with me on the couch.
I did not sleep well with Oscar and Elmo running through my mind. So now here I sit watching you like some energizer bunny playing happily. While, Mommy, Mommy needs toothpicks to hold open her eyelids. Seeing as how Mommy went to bed at 10:30, didn't get to sleep until 11 pm and woke up at least 3 times before you did at 2:30...I think I am low on the sleep tank level. That little bit of sleep I got between 4:30 and 5:00 and then awake again, doesn't really count.
Yes, you were adorable sleeping like an angel. Mommy was jealous. Yes, naughty, naughty Mommy was green with envy for sleep. And informing Mommy that you are not tired as we pull back in the space after dropping your brother and sister at school....is so not cool.
So next time, you have insomnia in the middle of the night, could you please try to schedule it on a night Daddy will be home the next day. (Of course I know you have no control over this, but one can hope).
So today, our trip to the library may be a bit delayed. We will get there but Mommy is moving slow.
Oh and have I mentioned, I do love the feel of your little hand in mine, even in the wee hours of the morning, as we walk down stairs together. The touch of your little lips as you give me a kiss and say thank you, priceless and worth all the world's treasures but for which I would not trade. The feel of your breath against my cheek as I cuddle you close, the definition of sweetness. You my beloved baby, are my last baby. So although I am tired, I really do treasure the lasts......the last moments of babyhood/toddlerhood. The last times Mommy magic really does work for nightmares and fears. The last times I have a child small enough to fit against Mommy and be curled up around in the sweetest cuddle.
I treasure YOU. I treasure your brother and your sister. While I want y'all to grow up and be healthy; it is so bitter sweet.
Lack of sleep was worth it, when you told me "I so wubs you Mommy". Mommy will make it through and you my beloved baby daughter will one day not need Mommy in the middle of the night. So for now, I treasure the fact you still need me to chase away the dreams that are not so nice. To fight the under the bed scary things and sing my made up lullabies in the time of night that is darkest before dawn. You are a treasure and I thank God for you.
Posted by Unknown at 8:14 AM