Life, love and marriage

Saturday, Mike and I celebrated 11 years of marriage.  We have had our ups, downs, tests, trials, sorrows, joys, and walked through the valley of the shadow of death on more than one occasion.  Only God can help a couple weather the storms of life in the way we have.  We argue like any couple, but our love remains strong.  Building a marriage on the rock called Jesus DOES make all the difference. 

We made vows, 11 years ago and it has taken determination, prayer and love to make it work.  Marriage is work.  You don't just get married and then everything falls into place.  People are different.  People change.  Because of these two facts, marriage is ever changing and morphing into something else. It is our choice in choosing how to react to those changes that makes the difference.  Yes, there are some relationships that are toxic and dangerous.  However, most problems can be worked out.  Most storms can be weathered.  It would surprise some if I told all the stuff we have weathered.  People think we have it easy.  That is far from the truth.  However, on that day, 11 years ago, we purposed in our hearts we would never ever have an out.  We would do whatever it takes to keep us going.

Today we have 3 beautiful children.  We still have our ups and our downs.  What used to be cute and adorable to each other when we first got married.......not so cute and adorable as it was then.  I mean, used to if he snored...it was funny.......now I just want to sleep.  Used to the tapping of the toothbrush on the sink...not to bad, now it is akin to a drum going of in the other one's head.  Not because we don't love each other but because love changes and we change.  Getting past the little annoyances is the key. 

Learning that life is short and you never know what will happen next; helps you appreciate each other more.  Standing together holding your child in your arms and not knowing if this will be his last breath; changes you.  Suddenly, you find that the things you use to worry about....are not so big.  Having God intervene and knowing you have been given a miracle humbles you.

Life is not a bed of roses and neither is marriage.  But it is oh so worth the pricks and the stumbles and the hurts over the years when you have decided forgiveness will be a corner stone of your marriage.  Forgiveness.......love.......faith.....and most of all the Lord.  If you have these...you can weather things you would not believe.  Does that mean there will be no more problems? Of course not.  It means that together you can face them because Jesus is in control.

October 9, 1999