Saturday, May 22, 2010

It is still so surreal...

Can Miya really be gone?  Shouldn't the world have stopped spinning on its axis?  The impact she left on our lives is so real.  I feel numb.  I can't imagine the grief of those closer to her, when my own grief is palable.  I was not ready to say good bye.  I completely believed God would heal her this side of heaven.  Why He chose to take her home to heal her, I will never know.  Yet, God is His love and wisdom knows. 

I know that Miya would not want to come back.  She would not want pain and suffering.  She is happy.  She is free.  She is sitting in the presence of the Savior. That is awesome.

Yet, those of us who remain are left with grief so pervasive it filters into our dreams.  The loss of Miya is like a part of our hearts have left.  There is an empty spot in my heart.  Yes I know, I still have my memories, the love she left in her place in my heart.  Yet, today...that is not enough.  I know it is selfish, but I'd like to hold her...touch her...kiss her sweet face.  I got to see her one last time before she left this earth.

Miya was hooked up to every machine known to mankind.  Drugs pumping in her wee little body to do all kind  of things I don't even understand.  I spoke to her and she struggled to open her eyes. She was so sedated.  But I know she KNEW I was there.  I know she KNEW I loved her. 

Oh sweet, sweet Miya girl.....I am glad you are free from pain, but I miss you. 

3 comments:

Mrs A said...

I am so sorry for your loss :( I will be praying for you!!

Brenda said...

Praying for you.It hurts to lose someone close to us. We rejoice because they are with God but it is so hard to be the ones left behind.

Thelma said...

thanks so much. The God of all comfort is working.