Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas joys and "magic"

Oh what joy is to be found, as we gather the children round, for cuddles and stories and family time.  The niblets are growing up so fast, but Christmas is a time, it is okay to be a child. It is okay to believe in surprises and magic and wonder.  Excitement and expectation fills the air.

And wasn't it just the same so very long ago, that night in the stable.  Mary knew what the angel had told her. She pondered those things in her heart and was overwhelmed by what the angel revealed to her about her unborn son.  Expectation filled that stable, joy and wonder and magic in a manner of speaking. Because, birth is magical, the way a baby grows within the mother's womb, from one little tiny microscopic part to a child fully formed and beautiful to behold. It is magical. It is wondrous.

We are all fearfully and wonderfully made, knit together by God's hands in our mother's womb. How much more miraculous, the Christ child being formed within the virgin's womb?  He moved, He kicked and caused His mother the pains and aches of any expectant mother. His mother bore him with blood, sweat and tears...she bore that would one day save us from our sins.  When He gave forth His first cry....angels sang the story.  How much more magical and awesome can it be?

So Christmas to me, still holds the wonder of that night. I see it in the eyes of my children as they sing Away in a Manger.

I heard it in the voice of my Jenny as she said Jesus was the real reason for Christmas and how much she loves Jesus.

I see it in the kindness of my Christopher,  helping me do household chores as we prepare for the challenges ahead of my surgery coming up.

I feel it in the arms of my Hannah as she says Mommy you are my best Christmas present when she hugs me tight. not always the thing people whisper about as being bad and mysterious, but it is in the way love gave birth to freedom and brought us hope.  Love, magic, wonder, awe...that is Christmas.  Because without the love, wonder, awe and magic brought to us in a stable from the birth of one little infant boy...there would be no freedom and hope in our world.  How God did it.....still awes me.

So Merry Christmas from my house to yours and remember HE is the love and magic and hope of Christmas.

The Crossing--book review and comments

I give this book a top notch rating.  This book kept me up to read it and had me not wanting to put it down.  I thought I had it all figured out but the plot had some twists and turns I did not expect.  I love it when a book lets me get some of my thoughts to the plot correct, but some that totally surprise me.

The story shows that while pain and memories of awful things in your past can effect you for years to come,there is ONE from whom you can gain healing.  In facing, the pain and sorrow, instead of burying it, you let it go, forgive and heal.  There is a purpose to letting go and forgiveness. It isn't to say the person who did wrong is right. It is to set you free from the hold the act or acts had upon your soul. To let to soar in freedom and peace.

This was a great book and I would love to read more by this author.

While thinking about the above made me thing about how there is nothing in this life that can destroy us.  We are able to overcome way more than we think.  Our God is able to heal in ways we can not even imagine...but we have to let Him and allow the pain that comes with revealing the scars. Healing often brings pain, as we stretch and exercise the scars. When God heals us, He lets us feel the pain, so that we can appreciate the freedom.  Sounds, unfair? Not so, for He bore more pain on HIM for us that we can ever imagine.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Daughter's walk

I read the book "The Daughter's Walk"

This book is a fascinating look at the mother/daughter relationship and how forgiveness and holding on to bitterness and unforgiveness can effect someone's life.

The book takes many twists and turns, some you expect, some you were not expecting.  In it all it is ultimately about what happens when one or more family members decide to blame and not forgive.

The author lets you get inside of the mind of the daughter and see things from her perspective. While, you some what see in the mind of the mother, you mostly see the daughter's view point.

It left me wondering why the mother made the choices she made. Her choices impacted her family, but it also let her daughter on a separate journey to discover who she was, and how forgiveness or the lack there of and bitterness can impact your whole life.

There were times I felt the author got bogged down in some detail about the fur business that really didn't add as much to the story.

I do like how the author includes facts from the family the story was based on.  I felt a few of the characters weren't entirely 3 dimensional or necessary for the plot per se, but added for romantic effect. For example, the employer's son.  However, it did fit the story.

There are times you want to shake some sense into the characters and say "can't you see what you are doing"..but it adds to the realism of the conflict.

A poignant scene in the book is when the mother, cuts a portion of a lace heart and gives a piece to her family the daughter deals with how her mother handles this is a key element. This pops back up in the story at the end and you discover that assumptions you made, are no necessarily the motive or feeling behind what happened.

This will make you think about how the words we say, the things we do and the choices we make effects more than ourselves.

It is a good book.

Blogging for books can be found at:

Saturday, October 29, 2011

A Scary Tale

My creepy tale from the crib years:

It was a dark and stormy night, (truly it was).  Mike was at work, working the night shift.  The children tucked in their respective beds.  The youngest was a mere infant, still waking for night feedings and still much in need of the baby monitor.  We were used to hearing random baby sounds, neighbors homes, who had baby monitors and the like.  Once we even heard a man and his wife arguing over some cell phone type device.  She wanted him to pick up milk, he did not want to make a late night stop.  

I lay in my bed, having had trouble getting to sleep and thinking about the next day.  Suddenly...I heard a low, evil growl next to my ear.  First, I thought, someones dog or cat is outside my window.  I got up and cautiously, ever so carefully lifted one part of the blind to peek out.  Much to my relief...nothing jumped at me, like in the movies.  The ones where you scream, don't look out the window at the screen.  I sat back down on the bed and I heard it again, this time just a bit louder.  Know I is coming from the baby monitor.  This was NOT a baby noise. This was low and sounded so evil that my hair stood on end and my heart raced like I'd been running a marathon. 

 I started praying hard as I walked to the girls' room.  At that moment the growling stopped, just as I stepped across the threshold.  I peeked at my middle child and adjusted her covers.  Praying all the while.  Then I heard that horrid growl again. It was in or near this room!  I ever so slowly, heart in my throat, fingernails cutting into my palm as I gripped my own hands tightly....tiptoed over to the window  I peeked out......NOTHING!  The growl had stopped by this point.  Standing in the moonlight, heart hammering, like a race car out of control..I was near tears it was so scary. 

I walked over to the baby's crib.  I checked to make sure her sister had not placed any lovies in the crib with her.  She moved a bit and I patted her sweet little bottom. THEN I heard it..RIGHT NEXT TO ME and it was not coming from the baby. That low, evil growl like something evil this way came...kind of thing.  Then I saw it...the hideous "monster" that was making this noise. It growled low and evil.  Its fur shiny in the moonlight...its eyed beedy, glassy and dark.  I almost screamed...but then I was was.
The WOMB SOUNDS BEAR attached to the side of the crib! I had not known when the batteries get low the bear can possibly make random sounds....

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

11 years ago

I woke up today and realized I haven't done Christopher's 11th birthday letter.  I try to write a letter or something each year on their birthdays.  I have missed one here or there depending on what was going on at the time.  But I do try.

When Christopher was born, I knew how to change a baby, feed a baby and the basics.  I had heard about sleep deprivation and colic but never experienced it.  When he was in the hospital with me just after his birth. Everything was easy and smooth sailing.  Well, until we brought him home.  Then the crying began.  We did not know at the time his crying was due to undiagnosed milk allergy. So at 3 a.m., my husband after a frantic call to the pediatrician, due to an newborn who had cried hours and hours and hours, went on a search for gas drops. First, he had to find something open and second...a store that actually carried the magic elixir..GAS DROPS.  It helped some, but truthfully not a lot.  It took a full year for him to be diagnosed and when we took him off all dairy......our baby..stopped crying like turning off a switch.  He had cried after every, feeding and every meal for a solid year.

 Doctors, would not listen, and we prayed and we cried and we searched for answers. Christopher was a happy, laid back little guy, when he wasn't in pain.  We named his tummy troubles "the tummy tigers".  This still has effects in him today. He learned that first year that food caused pain and because of it, eating, has never really been a big thing for him.  He is better now, but even after 11 years his eating is an issue as his sensory issues; I believe, in part, were caused by all that pain he experienced.

However, this leads me to Christopher's letter:

Dear Christopher:

When God blessed us with you, He gave us a warrior.  A warrior full of joy and laughter.  A warrior that has perseverance and faith so deep it astounds me.  All those times you saw Jesus and Mercy (your "imaginary friend") by your bed when you were so sick, instilled something in you.  Your faith is the foundation you need for life.  No matter what you face, that faith, your Lord Jesus will be WHO gets you through anything. There is nothing you can't face.  There is nothing, through the strength of Jesus you can't do . Nothing is impossible with God. You have proven that in your life and walk with Jesus over and over again.  I am proud of you positive outlook on life.  I am proud that you have compassion and love for others.

Your character is strong and mighty and it shines for the world to see.  Keep Jesus as your center and you will find that people are drawn to you.  You have grown so much this year, both physically and spiritually. Watching God grow you in faith is better than anything you could ever do, say or be.  Watching you become a young man that loves the Lord Jesus is better than winning a million bucks.  Thank you for being you.

 You pray first and ask questions later.  That my son, teaches your Mommy every day.  Sometimes, you struggle with organization, sorry , you get that from Mommy, but you are trying.  You are working hard and have the desire to learn and grow.  I thank God, He made you, just like you are.  As we learn and grow together, we will meet life head on with Jesus as our source.  As your parents, Daddy and I, are learning and growing too. Families, do that......they learn and grow together in love and faith.  I pray God will increase your faith and that you will grow in wisdom and stature.  We trust God with you and your life and His plans for you future

The scripture I proclaim for you this year is

Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

We love you and know God is going to do great and mighty things in you.
Love Mommy..aka Mom as I don't know how much longer the Mommy label will stick..LOL

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Mean girls??

I was watching the Today show this morning and they were talking about "mean girls".  They were discussing whether reality TV, kids show, etc were the cause of girls being so mean to one another these days. 

I don't think it can be blamed, entirely, on television or reality TV.  My girls have on occasion been mean to one another. However, we correct it immediately.  We explain WHY it is wrong and how it makes the other one feel.  Compassion doesn't all come naturally, some of it, is taught.

When a young child, hits another child to be mean, you teach them.  You teach them that it hurts and you have consequences for such behavior.  If a parent excuses their child, every time he or she does something wrong, they learn that behavior is wrong.  If you excuse a girl for being mean saying "that's just girls being girls" teach them it is okay.

Discipline and teaching kids to be kind and compassionate comes through many lessons.  They watch us and how we treat others.  They do things and crave discipline. Yes, I said crave discipline. Children need discipline. They want some one to care enough to correct them when they are wrong. 

I am not talking abuse. I am talking about correction and teaching.  Discipline is teaching not just consequences. 

Am I perfect mother, NOPE!  Haven't earned that distinction yet.  I don't think I will be earning it any time soon, because I too am learning.  The Lord teaches me and disciplines me through His word.

Sometimes, He uses a simple statement, made innocently by my child that is like a good wake up and do right message from the Father Himself. My children don't even know they just preached to Mommy.

So mean girls being the fault of TV? No, not entirely.  Yes, it has some influence, but we also have to take responsibility for our kids behavior and what we are teaching them.

Yes, sometimes, there are kids, that despite what they are taught, act out and become "mean girls", due to no fault of the parents.  However, I do not think this is because of TV.  I think it is a culture thing.  It is cool these days to show...just how "bad" you are...the badder the better. 

If we as a culture did not buy into the dress...well lack there of dress or the hype for "bad girl" behavior, it would not thrive. 

If we rewarded good behavior and highlighted, positive things so many teens and kids do, we would see a change.  Kids would think it was cool to be good.  MOST of the pressure to be bad comes from peer pressure.  Is that influenced by TV, probably.  However we can not blame it on TV. 

Many families are so plugged into technology they are tuned out on their kids.

Lord, help me be tuned into YOU so I can be tuned into my kids.  Help me prioritize my time, my family, my day so that my girls and my son can be...compassionate, loving members of society. People who shine brightly in a world where being mean is cool.  Let them show that kindness and love is the way to live.  Let us live the way YOU would Lord......where we live by loving those who society says is unlovable.  Let us never ever cast stones and let us shine brightly for you.

Wordless Wednesday

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Along Came a Spider

or some type of insect and bit my child. She went to bed on that Friday night and was fine.

The next morning she woke up like this:

at that time we thought she was having an allergic reaction to something and began treating with benadryl. She was not complaining of pain.

By afternoon it had not improved much. We took her to a walk in clinic, they were closed. So we decided to continue as we were since she had no fever and was not complaining of pain, and that we would take her the next morning. Which is what we did. I took her to the walk in clinic and they said it was an infection from a possible bite and sent us home with antibiotics. I gave her a dose and she went to sleep for a nap. Around 4 pm or so she woke up vomiting and had fever. She was now crying and said it hurt and under her arm hurt as well. I did not pass go...I did not collect 200 dollars, I took her directly to ER.

Thanks goes out to Pastor Nate at our church who came to the hospital. He was there with Jenny and I while the put in the IV.  Jenny was all about that later.  She couldn't express it then...but since then she has referred to him as "her Pastor Nate".

She was admitted on IV antibiotics and morphine for pain. They did xrays and blood work as well. She had a raging infection from an unknown cause. When we first got there they splinted her hand but the xray techs took it off and no one ever replaced it.

The doctors painted a bleak picture of tendon, nerve and all sorts of damage.  But I KNOW a HEALER who can stop infections in their TRACKS!

This is my baby in pain and on morphine..(this one breaks my heart.)

She was brave though and tried to color and play with a gift sNonnie (Shelly Lickliter) sent her

a balloon from a friend brought a smile(Ches..thank really did help her).

Our beloved Ms Terri works at Children's and she stopped in too..which brought smiles as well.  God is good and gives you people in your lives that bless you, in ways that may seem small to them, but is HUGE to you.

They were talking surgery.........and had been since we came in. Her finger was not improving fast enough

we sent out another call for prayer

This is an hour and a half after the previous picture and why I KNOW prayer works

The doctors then said NO surgery on Tuesday morning. she was so brave.  She still had some pockets of infection and her finger is still not the right color but is better. The last photo doesn't show the color of her finger now..or the bluish tint to it...they say it is the infection still under the skin...and it is still a bit swollen. She can now bend it and use it better. They let her keep her jammies on and we couldn't change them because of th IV...but here are some more pics of my girl recovering. (This was written just after we returned home..for a Mommy website I belong to, but now adding it to my blog)

being brave and finally smiling.

almost ready to go home..waiting for our walking papers..LOL

that cot behind her is where I slept. Do not let looks deceive is NOT comfy..LOL.

I almost forgot to mention sweet Hannah Garmany and her mommy Emily came to say hello as well and Poppie called us too......where is my brain.  All that people did, posted, prayed, etc...all of it counted and it mattered and it blessed us so much.

oh and her class and school and teacher sent her this:

 She returned to school on the Friday after her admission.. She was hooked up to a heart monitor part of that time as well due to the morphine for pain and the infection messing with her system. I am so glad she is better. What a weekend we had.  
And while I wrote this the other day, I can now report she has finished that horridly yucky medicine.  Her finger is almost normal but still not quite back to like before.  God is completing the work. 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

This is a test...only a test...

If it had been an actual blog post it would have been more interesting.  But since blogger seems to be misbehaving for me, I need to do a test post.  In the event of an actual blog and laugh because generally my life is filled with laughable moments.  Or Cringe because there are some of those moments too. I now return you to regular blog land postings.  Have a great day.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Out of the mouths of babes

Comes great wisdom and great faith.  Last night we were driving to church.  Jenny said "Mommy I have a story to tell you and it is a true story.  It is not fiction (she just learned that word). 

Here is her story:

It is a short story but it is a good one.

Me and Jesus...we is best fwiends. Jesus...He plays with me and sleeps with me and hugs me and I hug Him. He wubs evewybody and He is evevybody's fwiend. He is kindness and He is sweetness. The end. 
And that my friends is the reward of a in her child, love and hope and the joy of life shining out for the world to see.  I stand in awe of a Savior who has put such love for  Him into the hearts and minds of my children.

Great is HIS faithfulness unto me.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Tweens...the grand adventure

It is that time of has begun.  There is homework to be done, a schedule to adhere to books to keep up with and of course open house.  The kids show off their classrooms, some things they have done and wait with a little anxiety to hear the teacher say they are doing just fine.  In the midst of it all, you have to find time for love and encouragement while trying to get it all done. 

As of late I have felt inadequate, overwhelmed and out of my element.  Because when it all boils down to ladies and gentleman I am NOT "smarter than a 5th grader"!  When did math become so complicated?  As I look at my son's text book, I think...there is no way we learned that in 5th grade.  I am astounded by all he is already learning and feel unable to help.  I am ...but it is a feeling.  One that I haven't had a in a while.

 I remember those first weeks in motherhood, after being introduced to this tiny bundle of sweetness, crying, cooing and spit up.  It was in those weeks I learned, all those years of babysitting, being a day care teacher and a nanny did NOT prepare me for motherhood.  The books didn't tell me about supersonic poos that easily cleared 6 feet out of the diaper and necessitated a bath for anyone and  anything with a 6 foot radius.  It did not prepare me for sleep deprivation or the fear of knowing something was wrong with your baby but no doctor would listen.  It also did not prepare me for the depths of love and willing sacrifice I would feel and go to for my child. 

Now I stand at the precipice of the teen years.  Childhood, young child hood for my son is almost behind us.  He is about to enter............the TWEEN ZONE.  In some ways he already has entered it.  I again am experiencing..all the newness of having a child who is no longer a child but yet he is.  It is limbo land.  Somewhere between childhood and teenager without a map.  Yet, I see glimpses of the man he will become.  What  fine, upstanding man he will be.  He is compassionate and loving.  He is kind and caring.  Sometimes he can be a bit cranky and procrastinate (hmmmm I wonder...who he gets that from...checks to see if my "label" is showing). 

I being a Mommy and decidedly female, do not get the whole boy thing. 

A little  boy one second....something entirely alien the next.  (Did aliens switch him while I wasn't looking).?

Giggly and silly and full of jokes part of the day...moody and stormy another.
Yes...folks I think we are hitting the beginning stages of puberty.  Or as he asked me the other day "mom when I go through pubity, will I be able to grow  a mustache?  When  can I shave...cause I think...see right there on my chin..I think that might be a hair"

Now, his Daddy does and he helps.  However, my son needs to learn from me as the biggest female influence in his life , at the moment. My responsibility to him is to nurture without coddling, to be firm with mercy and to no matter what show him love. Now, I have no issue with the loving part..I have that down pat.  But when the tween attitude rears, I find it hard not to go a little heavy on the firm.  So this is a learning process for us both.

However, the tools in my arsenal include prayer and faith.  Thank GOD for these.  I could not travel this road without them.  As I traverse uncharted territory I trust God to lead me. 

My love for this child, I mean young man grows and changes with him.  It grows deeper, it expands and it learns. 

That is another thing......I didn't get totally, until I had kids...Love learns.

So we are off on this grand adventure...and I have my arsenal, prayer, the word of God and lest we forget...for when I need it...COFFEE, calgon and chocolate. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, August 15, 2011

A kindergarten tale

Twas the night before kindergarten and all through the house giggles and wiggles echoed  my joy as I layed down in my bed.

I slept most soundly with visions of pencils and crayons and a nice teacher in my head.

Up before the sun I sprang rather slowly and could not eat
but hurried to get dressed with spiffy shoes on my feet.
Breakfast was done and now it was time to wait
for the clock to read half past eight.
I thought this day would never arrive
and waiting was almot too much to survive.
Finally Mommy said those wonderful words
It is time to go.
On with my backpack and lunch box too
posing for pictures is just something you have to do.

Off in flash, how much I have grown
with grins and "pinky tails" to be shown.
We arrived at the school with time to spare
and had lots of things with my friends to share
Time for more posing for mommy to see
what a big girl God has made me to be

Who is that coming down the hall
it's my teacher coming to line us up straight and tall

Standing in line waiting to see
what my next adventure will be

Bye Mommy I love you so much but I am ready for this day
and I will see you later is what I have to say

And off I go hand in hand
with my teacher to Kindergarten land

I arrived home with smiles galore
and happy with all kindergarten has in store
I have a bright future it is plain to see

but I was so glad to have brother, and sister and mommy to walk home with me.