Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Not me monday fiasco/Not me Wednesday version

I had written a whole not me Monday...this week while my computer is my word program and saved it as Not Me Monday....but apparently I was more sleep deprived than I thought cause it is the exact same as the post I wrote for kneeling in the gap.

I do not remember saving it over the other and wrote the Not Me Monday AFTER the kneeling in the gap article. So I have no idea what happened....

it is most definitely not me that would do I am soooooooo computer savy......

it is not me who is frustrated with lots of things today......including the fact I can not get to the pharmacy to pick up Christopher's meds for many reasons that don't even make sense.

It is not me that wishes I did NOT have the nursery tonight cause surely I have no reason to be tired.

It is not me...who lost.....somehow the little boy I keeps diaper wipes......I have looked EVERYWHERE....and I can't find them.

It is not me who has wasted this week of spring break and done nothing "fun" with my kids except color on coffee filters and turn it into "tie dye" with sprayed water.

It is not me who is behind on my Bible Study homework.

It is not me....who wants to eat a boat load of Aussie cheese fries smothered in dipping sauce ( can't afford it so will not do it)...that would taste so good.

It is not me who is also craving lots of fattening mexican food...cheese enchiladas, burritos...tacos......hmmmm wonder if I am stressed cause all I want to do is eat......I am resisting the temptation at the moment to eat my self into a coma.....LOL.

It is not me who feels shallow and silly for posting that last not me statement.......but knows we all have our weaknesses...LOL....

It is not me who dropped a stroller...double one at that on her leg and has HUGE bruises that makes it look like someone beat me on that bruise is quite swollen...but it is not me who dropped it in the first place...cause it is not me who is a clutz.

It is not me who held my precious son in her arms today while he sobbed his eyes out over his Opa....and felt helpless and out of her league on how to handle the situation (thanks Heather for the advice)..but we did pray and talk and hopefully
that resolved some stuff

It is not me.....who is waiting for Jennifer to get up from her nap and is resisting the temptation to wake her just to get a I am feeling the need to hold my kids closer than ever.

It is not me.......who needs to give the kids a bath but will have to put it off on Daddy as I have to work in the church nursery tonight.....unless of course I can squeeze it in between baby I keep's pick up time and dinner fixing......

It is not me who just sat on my leg long enough while writing this post until it fell asleep and now it feels like a block of wood.

But IT IS me who is resting in the promises of God and waiting for a miracle on many fronts......I am at a place......I just need God to me His mighty hand and resolve some things that are so utterly out of my hands it is unbelievable. BUT MIRACLES DO HAPPEN.....and I am waiting and trusting God for it all.

kneeling in the gap

The kids are upstairs…”cleaning” their rooms but it sounds mostly like playing. This week is Spring Break and I need to really get motivated and do some Spring cleaning myself. I also want to take the kids outside for some good, old fashioned play time. Yet, I find my self with a lack of energy and motivation for either. The spirit is willing but the flesh indeed…is weak. I am tired and other family issues from extended family threaten to explode. I as always am caught right square in the middle expected to be the peace maker. I don’t know how to do it anymore nor do I have the strength. If I “side” with one….I am wrong…If I “side” with the other I am wrong. Yet neither wants to hear that they both need to just work on themselves and stop trying to fix each other. If I give “advice” which is asked for and it is not what they wan to hear…I am being judgmental and don’t “really understand”. OR I am accused of thinking I am perfect. That is far from the case. There is no way on God’s green earth I think I have the answers. And boy howdy to I know I am not perfect. I make mistakes daily. I have to repent for wrong actions and attitudes. I struggle with self everyday. The problems in this issue are wearing me out! No one wants to really listen…they just want to be told they are right and that they do not have to change a thing and that the other is wrong and needs to do all the changing. When it takes TWO to argue and it takes TWO plus One (Jesus) to fix and mend broken hearts, relationships, trusts etc. I am praying for a miracle. A miracle bathed in love and peace. I am not the peacemaker…..there is only ONE peacemaker. So now…….I stand in the only place I can…….rather I kneel in the only place I can. I kneel in the gap……praying the walls do not fall down around them crushing them with bitterness, anger and unforgivness. I once walked the road of unforgivness and it almost killed me literally. When God healed me…..He did not make it EASY to forgive but He made my heart whole. Why I can’t seem to share this with them where they can see my heart and feel that I feel their pain I do not know. So I will pray and I will stand in the gap and I will fight the enemy that seeks to destroy them until they are healed to the uttermost. God….able. I TRUST HIM…… if only these precious people would let GO of their hurt, their anger, their frustration and let the healing power flow and TRUST God and others who He is trying to place in their lives to help…….

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

update...from the land of crashed computers..

Yes our computer crashed YET again....but thankfully we have a friend who is a computer tech/I.T./whatever you call it and he fixed it. Our computer is still slow but it works for now...until we can get a new computer.

I have two blog posts to copy and paste but wanted to do the update first.

My father in law fell a week ago. He did not go to the dr like we wanted until Sunday night. At that time the MRI and Cat scans showed a cerebral hemorage and the possibility of a stroke but the brain was swollen. Yesterday some time they let us know he has a benign brain tumor but were not sure where it was precisely located due to swelling in the brain from the hemmorage. His heart rate and blood pressure have been very low and he is slurring his speech. He has been in ICU. The latest info is that they are going to try moving him to a regular room to see if having visitors and what not will bring his heart rate up. Being so sedate in the ICU may be keeping it down because of inactivity and no conversation etc etc. I am not sure when that will take place. I also found my info is all 2nd and 3rd hand cause I cant go up with the kids and they are on spring break so I am at home with them. He will need brain surgery to remove the tumor....I do not know when this is or how long it will take or any other details. I do KNOW he needs PRAYER...lots of it. He is 66 years old and this type of thing is harder as you get older...not that he is old but you know what I mean.

God is able.......

I will post my 2 posts I wrote while crashed on another day......even if it isn't NOT ME MONDAY......LOL.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

You know its time...

to shave your legs when you have the following conversation with your two year old...but first a disclaimer mommy style:

I have never been a very hairy person and it usually takes quite a long time for me to have enough hair on my legs to I tend to put it off...and my legs only grows hair in spots...not all over thanks to a shaving experiment gone awry when I was a teen. Had I not ever put a razor to my legs...I'd never have had to shave....but being the teenager that I was.....just had to try it.......and did a very spotty job.....hence spotty growth on my legs...Now back to the conversation:

Jennifer: What's dis on you legs mommy?

Me: That's hair Jennifer

Jennifer: WOW!

"I pets it Mommy...I pets it and wuv on it".

Yeah......time to shave the legs........and can I say.......that is one of the funniest conversations I have EVER had with one of my children.

and in my defense it wasn't really THAT long but there were a few LONG hairs...but it was most decidedly NOT furry. But hairiness or the lack or abundance there of is all in the eye of the beholder.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Not Me Monday

It is not me that is frustrated because Christopher is home sick and most likely needs a doctor's note because he has missed so much school this year due to asthma. However this illness is not sufficiently ill enough to warrant a doctor visit. I called the office to see if they can write me a note based on my word due to his history. The front desk person was a bit snotty but is having the nurse call me. I don't have the money to take my son to the doctor to hear "he has a viral illness" just keep doing what you are doing". ARRRGGGH

It is not me who wants the school board to realize there are some children out their with medical issues that makes it IMPOSSIBLE to have "perfect attendance".

It is not me who thinks "having perfect attendance" does not always = perfect grades.

It is not me who thinks it is unfair that my legitimately ILL child will NEVER get rewards like bikes and trips and ipods because he does not have PERFECT ATTENDANCE although he DOES have perfect GRADES! It is not me who thinks they should reward academics and not just attendance. Just cause a child's bottom warms the seat does not mean he/she is learning!

It is not me who needs a NAP because she did not get much sleep last night. No I always get the sleep I need.

It is not me who thinks that there are some people in her life who need to learn to do things for themselves instead of expecting others to do it or taking it for granted that I will do it for them.

It is not me who sometimes has trouble with just letting go and letting God do it.

It is not me who wants to crawl in the bed and have a good cry even though it seems my issues today are relatively small in comparison to some of the happenings in the world around me.

It is not me who is tired of hearing about OctoMom and thinking none of us would stand up to such scrutiny if our parenting was called into question or every decision we ever made was called into questioning.

It is not me who wishes I could just do take out for the rest of the forseeable future.....cause I am tired.

It is not me who needs to do exercise but keeps finding excuses NOT do it.

It is most who wishes she could have a romantic weekend ALONE with her hubby cause after all our kids should always be first.......

Calgon take me somewhere warm, with sand and ocean waves...

Friday, March 13, 2009

She scared the life out of me.......

Baby Miya that is...the little girl I babysit. She was sitting in the exersaucer and started digging at the port for her feeding tube that goes into her tummy. I said firmly, but not meanly....."NO"......She started crying that silent cry babies do sometimes when mad or hurt.....usually when you call the child's name or touch them they start using their voice and catch their breath. SHE DID NOT! She kept screaming without breathing and passed out. I picked her up during this time and laid her on the couch calling her name....her eyes rolled back and I called her name very loudly during this time.....saying "breathe Miya.....breathe"........then after what seemed like and eternity but what was probably a very short time..she caught her breath and cried! IT SCARED me SENSELESS. I am definitely asking her mom about this one!

Talk about word......! My kids were staring and calling her name too. I am pretty sure it scared them too. I reassured them after Miya was calm and happy she was fine. She is now sleeping peacefully.

I did find out along with her liver issues she has pulmonary stenosis...I wonder if this plays a part in what happened. I think I need to take a refresher course on infant CPR. I know how to do it....but it has been a while since I updated my status.

Miya continues to need her miracle. God is able.

Here she is....beautiful Miya on a recent warm day...can't wait for these to happen daily...a little Miracle in the making:



Thursday, March 12, 2009

Thursday Thankfulness Times Ten

God is good...I believe in thanking God for the good things in our life. I am listing ten things I am thankful for on this Thursday

1. We got the results back on Christopher's growth hormone tests back today via a phone call. His results are NORMAL......are pretty much normal. His hormone is a little low but not deficient! Just as I little boy is small, fearfully and wonderfully made. He is tiny but he is mighty in faith and joy and compassion.

2. I am getting to babysit more to help hubby with the finances and while at times this wears me helps us.

3. The answers on planting the church are not what my husband wanted but wise. The district wants to close this church and put Mike else where for now until he gets a little more experience under his belt as a pastor. I think this is wise. Mike graduated from Bible university in 2003 and we served as associates for 7 months. Then sat for a while and then Mike took this church a few months ago. Needing more experience before taking on church planting sounds very very wise to me. God speaks to our husbands when we don't know what to say. I am proud of the way Mike handled the words from the official. He did so with humility and grace. Yes, he is disappointed but he showed great maturity and growth in his response. I am proud of him.

4. Mike will still be pastoring this small church for a few more months giving him ample opportunity to preach, his great love. I love watching him preach. His passion and love for the Lord Jesus..literally glows from his eyes.

5. Jennifer is making progress on the potty despite having been so sick this week. She is trying so hard.

6. God is faithful and mighty. He answers prayer......big, small and in between. I know the answer is on the way for some major prayers I have been talking to Him about. I may not SEE the answers yet BUT I KNOW that I KNOW the answers are on the way.

7. I feel like God is doing a new thing in my heart, my family, my husband. Can't quite put a finger on what it is yet, but it is good, very good.

8. Hannah is being less whiney and trying to be a good girl during nap time at Pre-K. She too is showing signs of great faith growing in her precious little heart.

9. We were able to make rent and each month God helps us make ends meet even when it seems there is no way to do so. We are doing good as we can with our budget even when faced with unexpected ER visits and the like. I am not getting into despair about these things and AM learning to leave it in God's hands.

10. I can approach the throne, in the Holy of Holies...the very presence of my King because of my advocate Jesus. I am saved by grace and kept in His mighty hand despite how many times I let my impatience get the better of me and act decidely unlike the Proverbs 31 MOmmy. I am learning and growing daily in Jesus. All of us need to grow daily in Jesus. We can and will never stop learning in HIM.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Train up a child...

There are many things in your child's life that swell your heart with pride and joy. But there is nothing like watching your child grow in the Lord. Christopher accepted Jesus as his Savior at age 5 and reaffirmed that faith at age 6.

This past Sunday, he was baptized as a representation of what Christ has done in his life. Added to that joy was the fact the church we attended before Mike started preaching twice per week at the small church let him baptize his son. This was Mike's first baptism.....and the significance that his first baptism was his first born is not lost on us. What an awesome blessing and privilege.

As I watched my son be baptized by his father.........I glowed with joy while tears rolled down my face. For me it was better than any award he could be given. For my son stood before all the church and professed he believe in the Lord Jesus and was ready for the world to know..he is born again, dead to sin, alive to Christ.

Before going up.....ever the 8 year old......."Look mom, I have wings like an angel"


With Daddy before going onto the baptismal...a father's love, a father's pride, a father's joy is his first born son who is growing up in the love of Jesus

By the profession of his faith in the Lord Jesus Christ

That he has confessed with his mouth that Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, died for his sins and saved his soul


He was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost


by the time he came up out of the water....I was unable to take the picture..LOL.

He was so tiny...his daddy had to hold him up out of the water and set him on his knee to keep him from being baptized before the actual baptism..LOL. As he went under his wee legs floated to the top..LOL. The whole church cheered as they welcomed a little brother and celebrated with us the new birth. God is good.

My children are growing in faith and I praise God that He saved my husband and I all those years ago so that we would train our children up in the ways of God. God is good all the time.

Watching my son profess his faith....means so much to me....all the struggles...all the health issues.....all the concerns are but a mere whisper to the joy in my heart that my son loves and wants to serve Jesus.

What greater gift is there to a mother than knowing her son loves the Lord Jesus and does so without shame but with gusto.

Wish we all had the faith that children have!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Okay that is it I HAVE HAD IT

with Germs that is. Jennifer started puking some time early Monday morning......thankfully we had the wonderful anti puke medicine at home...but it was still a rough go until about 12:30 pm on Monday...she was able to keep some stuff down. Then the icky poops started and she was upset cause she went in her diaper cause she has really been trying on the potty.....but we reassured her its okay.

In the midst of it...we lost her pet rock Tim......and put out an all points bulletin for prayer to find him. God answers prayer.....even regarding pet rocks. In the meantime my sister had painted her a new rock until we found Tim....she dubbed him "Harry Rock".

Her brother asked her: Are your rocks boys are girls?

She said and I quote: "They rocks........duuuuuuuuuuuuuuhh"........oh my word I almost busted a gasket hello big brother they are ROCKS they aren't boys or was so funny. I am sure she got "duh" from her brother but it was beyond funny......wish I'd had it on video.

So today she slept all morning.....and I did I. I was exhausted! Now she has a low grade temp...100.4. I just gave her a bath in baby she smells good......she hasn't lost that fresh washed baby smell yet.....LOL. Christopher......he doesn't smell like that after a bath.....and Hannah does but not quite the same....know what I mean.......

In any case.....she is still quite lethargic but not dehydrated......just gotta keep the fluids going...I am so sick of germs and sickness. It it aggravates me because I have taken my kids to school and seen kids in the nurses office obviously ill.......and they could not have just developed illness that quick.......I mean raging fever.......and you can tell from their eyes and cheeks they were they were sent to school sick.....with "but I gave him tylenol" he seemed fine.......uh if your child has a fever keep them HOME! So my child doesn't catch what your child has........I do.

okay off my judgemental soap box.......but it irks me when kids are sent to school SICK for everyone else to catch........sigh.

Don't mind me I am sleep deprived and frustrated. Thankfully even in the midst of it God proves His love to a little child by helping us find her beloved pet rock. In the grand scheme of problems in the world......a pet rock is not a big deal but to the Lord it was important to Him because it was important to her and us. That rock brings her comfort......and she adores we all prayed and God answered. I was able to show my kids........God cares about all our needs even lost pet rocks.

Isn't God awesome!?

(blogger was having issues will add picture later)

Friday, March 6, 2009

Mommy 4 Sale and a Pet Rock

Apparently according to my dear 2 year old daughter I am for sale. My t-shirt has the words REFRESHING on it...she got up in my lap and said "It says you for sale mommy".

Me" I am for sale?

Jennifer: Yup you for sell

Me: Why are you going to sell me?

Jennifer: Just cause

Me: What am I for sale for?

Jennifer: Chocolate!

So apparently my price is chocolate......she does love chocolate......oh what a sad, sad world in which a child sells her mommy for chocolate.....LOL LOL.

She also has developed a love for this rock. She has named her rock Tim and we had to draw a face on it. Yesterday, she gave Tim a drink of her brother's sprite...just plopped that rock right into the sprite. Unknown to me, she slept with Tim last night and he is going everywhere with her. She even took him to the potty with her this morning and "Tim held her hand". Here is our conversation about Tim

Interview with a Rock lover:

Me: What does Tim like to eat?

Jennifer: Poptarts

Me: What does he like to drink?

Jennifer: Milk

Me: What does Tim like to do

Jennifer: Play ball with 2 things (what two things I have no idea)

Me: What else does he like to do?

Jennifer: Go shopping.

Me: What does he buy

Jennifer: Candy...chocolate candy.

so apparently Tim would sell me for chocolate too. Tim also apparently likes baby lotion and to wear shirts and pants.

I need to get a picture of her with Tim but in the mean is a picture of my little business mogul who would sell her Mommy for chocolate.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Busy Bee Updates from my house.....

It has been crazy busy here.....between having sick kids last week, babysitting and more babysitting.......I have been beyond busy. Christopher and Hannah were both very sick last week. Hannah ended up at ER again last Wednesday due to dehydration but thankfully because the dr actually listened they gave me meds to use at home after she was rehydrated. Thank God for a dr that LISTENED.

Then I had little Miya on Friday, Saturday, Monday and Tuesday. I had to pick her up from her daycare on the weekdays. She kept me busy. Add in regular household stuff and you know.....I have been a busy bee.

I have little JT today and he is crawling around playing. But I also have to help Christopher with a project that is due tomorrow. It required me going through some pictures and finding some for each year of his is a timeline. So part of it was for me to do. He will need parental help to do it.

So I am hopefully going to get back to blogging and reading my favorite blogs....if I can get a spare minute.