Thursday, March 18, 2010

Considering the joy in the storm

James 1:2-18

Trials and Temptations

2.Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

3.because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

4.Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

5.If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

6.But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

7.That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;

8.he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

9.The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position.

10.But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower.

11.For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.

12.Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

13.When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;

14.but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.

15.Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

16.Don't be deceived, my dear brothers.

17.Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

18.He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
Considering it joy in the midst of the trial or storm is not easy.  In our current situation, it is hard.  Mike's job is in the threat of lay off EVERY DAY! As we face this battle, this test, we have stumbled and tripped and made some mistakes in dealing with it. We have let the stress get to us.  Counting it joy, does not mean it doesn't hurt and it is easy.  Counting it joy means we know the one who IS in control.  Knowing that truly every good and perfect gift does come from Him.  What seems like something bad and hard, may very well turn out to be a greater gift than you could ever imagind.  That is what I am trusting.  That my God, my Lord, my King is going to help us persevere.  That the mistakes we have made in dealing with the stress is far less than the joy on the other side of this trial. 

I purpose in my heart to walk through this with joy and grace and not let the enemy win through attacks of fear and despair.  I will not be be tempted by fear and frustration, nor will I let it grow.  I will walk with purpose and faith and joy through this trial.  God did not CAUSE this but He will lead us through it.  I will purpose in my heart to pray for Mike differently, more ferverently, more often, with greater understanding.  The full weight of what happens during lay off is on my husband's shoulders. While I do feel stress as well, as the sole provider of the house hold income my husband is facing so much more than I can grasp.  I pray for my Lord to undergird him and uphold him with HIS righteous right hand. God alone will get the glory through this. 
I purpose in my heart to trust even when there seems to be no way.  I purpose to stay true to my Lord and count it all joy and know that on the other side of it, I will have grown and Mike will have grown.  God is faithful, all we have to do is rest in that promise and all the promises He has made to His children

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Saturday...and House Cleaning Day

I love Saturdays....days to sleep in...well at least past six in the morning.  We were awakened before 7 by one of the children and then slowly but surely all of them joined us at some point.  The bigger two went down to watch cartoons.  Mike and I lay there discussing the fact we really should get up and get started with our day.  About 7:30 the little one joined us for a cuddle.  Her sleeping in until 7:30 is just in indication she hasn't been well this week.  Usually, her feet hit the floor first, bright happy and crying out with joy "It's the day Mama, It's the day".  Those cuddles are the best, Saturday morning cuddles.  What a blessing to feel those little warm arms and bodied cuddled up to you telling you how much they love you.  It is the picture of security and the way we are supposed to trust our Father.

Today we are holding the HOUSECLEANING OLYMPICS.  I do this once a year, right about spring time or close to spring.  It is when I can no longer stand the stuff that has accumulated in spots it doesn't accumulate in the summer.  For us this week, it is because we have had sick kids and my housework is behind.  Not to mention, the DRYER COMES TODAY....woo hoo.  I have mount laundry to tackle but I will have a WORKING dryer.  So once a year, we do the housecleaning olympics and the kids get "medals" for such events as:

Toy Wrestling, Book Corralling, Dust Busting and Bed making gymnastics.  There are other events that they will just assist with, like toilet taming, kitchen roundup and vaccuum wrangling.   This makes our family clean up day fun.  Our kids love it. 

This time we are all instituting some new family goals and rules in our pre olympic meeting.  The kids are going to help come up with a solution to the mislead idea Mommy and Daddy are there for the sole purpose of cleaning up after them.  Now, they know this fact, but lately we and they have let this slide.  I have picked up stuff I should have had them do.  They of course responded to this as any child would, and began to do less and less.  However, as a family, it takes us all working together to keep our house running smoothly. 

So that will be our day. 

Friday, March 5, 2010

I am Overwhelmed .......

By the hand of my mighty God. I said in my last post, how it was no accident I am am doing both Stepping Up the Bible Study and the book So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore and today was just further proof.

My insecurities had me feeling bad because I am behind on my first week's homework for the Bible study. Now, of course, common sense doesn't enter in to the equation. I mean come on all super moms should be able to clean up after two girls with a tummy virus. She should after all be able to handle the fact that, one of the self same girls with a sinus infection and strep throat. She should also be able to handle that the same child has an allergic reaction to her antibiotic and was an itchy and scratchy mess. She should be able to read the book, get her Bible study homework done, deal with a broken dryer and the fact tomorrow is the first chance we will have to get our new one. She should also be able to get it all done with little to no sleep and the fact we are leaving next weekend for a wedding. Surely, I "should" be able to do it all. After all, that is what insecurity whispers to your mind. But see there is the catch, insecurity is a liar. It makes you feel.....well insecure about every thing. The coulda, woulda, shoulda is jam packed jelly tight in ones brain.

So today when I went to the Stepping Up Bible study..I THOUGHT, we'd do the study, come home have lunch and a nap for me and the littlest one. Little did I stop to think God had other plans. She talked in today's session about singing and how songs/psalms were created for us to express our souls. Then suddenly as clearly as she was speaking on the video screen, God inserted into my soul the reason I do NOT have a heart song. Insecurity stole it...a long time ago because of the words of a misguided worship leader when I was 10 years old. That worship leader told a little girl, who loved to sing to the Lord, "You can't sing in front of the church because you can't carry a tune and I will not having anyone messing up "my" worship service". That pain....that scar........that day.....I stopped singing.

Oh I sang but not with that heart song that fuels our praise. Insecurity set in, instantaneously with those words of a man who spoke without love. I have forgiven that man. However, the pain colored my life all these years. I was 10, I am now 42 years OLD! 32 years without a heart song, and today, my Lord, my precious Lord gave me back my heart song. Oh, I have had joy. I am happy and fulfilled in the Lord and growing every day BUT I did not have my song..the song that fuels our praise and worship to the King of Kings. The song that fuels our praise and worship to a new level in Him. I have had glimpses of it over the years but I did not have that heart song in my possession because insecurity is a liar and a thief. Today.....I got my heart song back.

Hosea 2:15 says in part..."She will sing as in the days of her youth". Today that was restored to me. As a child, I used to go about my day singing and making up my own litte praise songs to the Lord. I stopped that day long ago because I thought I had to be "able to sing" to praise. How misguided insecurity is to the person who takes it to heart.

So today I sing a new song, a song of freedom, a song of joy asong of my heart to the very one who made my heart. I am overwhelmed by my Lord.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

So Long Insecurity and Stepping UP(Psalms of Ascent)

I think it is no accident that I received my Beth Moore book about Insecurity the same week our ladies group started the Psalms of Ascent Bible study.

An all to familiar thing happened yesterday when my insecurity smacked me hard in the face and I turned into a woman most people would not recognize. Quite honestly I freaked out over something that wasn't worth freaking out over. My oh so wise husband picked up on it without hearing my tirade and did the right thing. He is a very smart man.

I am all too aware that my insecurities can effect my dear sweet children if I am not careful. Yesterday, while in freak out mode, I said some things and such that I am not proud of as I ranted out loud, instead of to myself with them in the other room. Yeah....way to go Mom. I had to spend some of my on my face time before God repenting for my attitude brought on by my insecurities. Ahhh yes, we insecure about some things in our lives. For one woman it is one thing, and for another it is different but when it boils down to it.........insecurity can turn you into someone you don't even recognize yourself. And in that insecurity I want to Step up to the next level in God as He pulls me out of the pit of insecurity on the the next level with Him.

So today I am making a plan on how to address some of these insecurities. My insecurity tends to paralyze me into inactivity instead of using it to do something about the very things I am insecure about and DO have the ability to change. So instead of wallowing in it...I need to be proactive and do something about the things I CAN change. The other stuff I have to let go and let GOD...because I can't change other people.

I will step up to the next level and I WILL gain control over these insecurities with the help of my Lord.

(And yes I am promoting these books and suggest that all women need to read the book and do the study.)

Monday, March 1, 2010

I've got the blues.......

The I don't wanna do anything but stay in my jammies blues....LOL.

It has been an interesting weekend....yeah that's the word...interesting.

It started on Saturday morning 15 before 7, my sister called to tell me she had called 911 for my nephew. I told her I'd meet her there. He collapsed and an ambulance was on the way to rush him to the hosptial. He was rushed to the nearest hospital lights and sirens barely responsive and throwing heart arrythmias. Once he arrived they did a blood sugar test it was only 36. They gave him some kind of stuff that looked like karo syrup in his IV. In any case we spent all day at two different hospitals. Tentative diagnosis after a little over 24 hours in the hospital is hypoglyocemia. He is home and doing better..but what a ride. On Sunday we took my sister her van after church and the day was filled with go go go. Then in the middle of the night last night Hannah puked. Unknown to me thanks to benadryl but Mike took care of it. He is such a good Daddy. The weekend has been a blur. Oh did I mention, my dryer is toast. So we had to do some laundry at the in laws, rather Mike did it while I was with my sister. Yesterday, we had to pick up said dry laundry, thanks to my mother in law who folded it for us.

So tonight, we have to go looking for a dryer if everyone is better and well enough.
So now you know why I have the I don't wanna get dressed blues...LOL