Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Somewhat Wordless Wednesday

Jennifer placing her buggy in time out

Monday, April 28, 2008

He ATE STRAWBERRIES! and other mommy rambles

My little boy ate STRAWBERRIES! For those of you who don't know, my son has oral sensory issues and eats very few foods. Today, our Children's pastor and his wife took him out for the afternoon. He is going to work with us to try and deal with Christopher's fear of foods and trying new things. Now in the past, Christopher did eat strawberries but got to where those were on the boycott list as well. They took him to get a Christopher safe burger(he has deadly food allergies) and then to their farm. They ate strawberries, fed the goats and my son rode on a horse. He came back lit up like the sunshine. It did him so much good. God is good to put these people in our lives. Christopher's battle against his fears where food are concerned is ongoing, but days like this gives me hope. My tiny, petite son will one day eat like other kids. The fear of having to get a feeding tube put in, fades when he has days like this. We stay just ahead of the cut off zone on weight gain/loss to avoid the feeding tube. Yet at every dr appointment I fear the doctor will suggest it. So I celebrate the little moments. His face was alight with joy. He was so proud of himself.

Hannah is ever my princess but lately with ATTITUDE, sigh. Is she 4 or fourteen? She begs for makeup. Yet she makes me smile when she says "Mommy I want to be just like you". Right now the count of babies she wants when she grows up is 7. I say go for it sweetie. If I could have had as many as I wanted, we would still be having babies. Breaks my heart sometimes that those changes of pregnancy are gone with my tubal. But I know God lets things happen for a reason. Okay back to Hannah. She is such the little mommy to her sister and so bossy but at the same time, so cute. She loves her sister feriously. She protects her with a passion. Seeing the growing bond of sisterhood, thrills my soul.

Jennifer, where do I begin. She is well, her own little person. She is very close to potty training. If a couple more steps would click, she would be done. She is so verbal that she shocks me. She is smart beyond words and I think I am in trouble. She was trying to count today but getting thrown off by her sister. She knows the color blue quite well, which we discovered in church on Sunday, when they displayed a video and she yelled for all to hear "BLUE BLUE BLUE" after having uttered during a very quiet moment just as the presentation started WOW! Everyone giggled. She also is singing.....really singing songs with the choir. She may not know the words but she sings with her head throne back, mouth wide open and pretty good melody for a 21 month old. She sings with gusto too!

My heart is full, my joy knows no bounds because my children are such blessings.

My husband and I are hoping to find a house soon and end the drudgery of aparatment living. I can't imagine what it will be like to have a backyard for my children to romp and play in. I wonder if my son could get out and play more and get dirty and hungry if his appetite would increase.

I am a blessed, blessed woman. God is faithful and I am thankful for what He is doing even when I cant see the answer. I do not know when my son will be healed of his issues but I believe he will be. I believe one day he will have no asthma, no sensory issues, no deadly allergies. I hang onto that faith and it is moments like today I gain the most hope.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Counting the Cost

I filled up my tank on the van yesterday. Mike usually fills the tank. I could afford to put $20 in, that bought me a whopping 5 gallons of gas! SHOCKING! As fuel rises, so does the cost of good. Food, clothing, even simple things like rice and flour are rising dramatically. As families face a growing inflation rate and a higher cost of living, you see stories that break your heart. One man was interviewed in our area and chose to remain anonymous with no shot of his face. He sells the plasma from his blood just so he can buy fuel to get to work, so he can support his family. Families who make miniumum wage must choose whether to feed their families or buy fuel. Some families lose jobs simply because they do not have the money to buy fuel. Who is counting the cost? It surely is NOT the government. I don't even know the ethical ramifications of it, but couldn't a cap be put on the cost? Is that right or is that wrong? I am unsure but I do know, we have had to choose to cut back on buying groceries in order to buy fuel. We are working to make what we have stretch. I have even resorted to adding more water to juice and milk to make it stretch. I have cut back on soft drinks for myself and stretch my morning coffee. I have even gone without eating as much as I normally need in order to make the groceries stretch, and we in comparison to some, have it good. So when you count the cost, who is really paying? Who is benefiting? Well the average American surely is not benefiting. However, oil companies, fuel manufacturers and even the government get richer. Politicians brag about how much money they have raised. Into the millions they raise for their campaigns while people are on the street with no place to live, not enough food and no money to buy fuel to get them to work. Why do the campaigns have to cost so much money? Can they not cut costs and use what they save to help the people in America who they want to vote? It makes no sense to me. Counting the cost, seems to me all the cost is on the people and none rests with the government. I know a family who have an infant and a kindergartner, they are barely able to stay in their home and fear any day they will lose it. They are not wasting money but they have to live, eat and work. Then add in the cost of the emotional turmoil of not having enough for you family and the cost is desperately high. I have seen this mother cry because she can't afford to buy her baby new socks and shoes. My heart breaks but I am helpless because I can't even afford to give her help. I would love to just put some products on her door step and her not know it was me and her find it. But guess what, I can't afford it. The cost even effects how we can help others. What a world we live in when the cost of just existing costs to much to even help your fellow man. So, in counting the cost, I pray God will some how help me help them.

Monday, April 21, 2008

The Spirit of a child

Christopher continually astounds me. He is spiritually mature beyond his years, way beyond his years. Yesterday, after church he seemed a bity moody and like something was troubling him. He finally talked about it. He said that the devil tells him to be naughty and not to eat and beats him up in his dreams. He doesn't yet know how to express temptation or dealing with the troubles of life, so he expressed it the best way he knew how. He is NOT hearing voices but it is his way of talking about the battle within himself to do right or wrong; to fight against the fears of eating or give in to them. He knows that Jesus loves him and lives within his heart but at the same time he has to fight the fears of eating and the temptation to be naughty. He so desires to please Jesus and us, his parents. He so desires to to get beyond his fear of textures and new foods. But that battle.......the battle to get beyond the fear is not something he or even I understand yet. His earnest love for the Lord Jesus is humbling. His earnest desire to do what is right, is humbling. As I watched my little boy while we prayed, the emotions on his face were so open, so true, so beautiful. He loves Jesus with all his little heart. As we prayed, I saw peace settle on his face yet at the same time uncertainty about how he will win his battle against fear of foods. His spirit, my little boy's spirit is beautiful. I want to him him grow and not crush that spirit. But at the same time I must push him a bit to help him stretch and grow. Where is the balance? How do I as a mother, help him fight against something he can't even really understand. As I watch him grow up and face the struggles of life I understand that our Father in heaven feels the same way about us. He could step in and fix it Himself, but He in his sovereignty steps back and gives us free choice to seek Him or not. He lets us try it on our own, fall on our face and is ready to pick us up and help us stand when we ask. God in His infinite wisdom gave me this child. Now I have to figure out how to help this GIFT he gave me grow. My child, my firstborn son, I can not fathom all you and your sisters will face. I am weak but HE is strong and HE loves us. HE alone can guide us. Ours is to listen, and obey and I pray as a woman of God, a wife, and a mother I will learn to better listen to His voice and let HIM lead me in how to be your mother. I love you and your sisters. I would give my life for you and I would take your struggles on myself if you could be free. Yet for whatever reason this is one of the giants in your life

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Been rough around our house lately

First, Hannah's puking problem came back with an utter venganc with bad poops to go with it. She ended up in ER on Monday for 5 hours being rehydrated. Then on Monday evening, Christopher had a rash and wasn't feeling well but no fever. So I sent him to school the next day, still no fever but with a rash. Little did I know, what was coming. I got a call to come and get him cause he wasn't feeling well. So I took him to the doctor because the rash was worse. Ends up he has Scarlet Fever! He never had fever, complained of a sore throat(it is caused by the virus that causes strep). When they tested him for strep in the office via throat swap INSTANT positive. So he is home until Friday. To go with scarlet fever is massive abdominal pain in some children. Yep, he was in agony last night. And that was just the stuff this week. Inlaws were here last week and the list goes on. This afternoon the baby is congested and cranky, VERY cranky. I so hope she is not coming down with something. Every time I think I am going to get on and get caught up things go crazy. So that is the scoop.......sigh.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Mommy, Hannah and Jennifer's NOT so excellent adventure

Today my mom, my nephew, the girls and I ventured out on a trip to Target and the grocery store. This is my first week of having wheels of my own. My inlaws have given my darling husband a car. So, I thought I would go to the grocery store and get out. My mom needed to go there and to Target as well. We decided to go to Target first so we could pick up groceries afterwards. My mom did her shopping which including an outfit for the children. My nephew was singing at at the top of his 5 year old lungs (although I had warned him more than once to use and inside voice) "If you love Jesus clap your hands, If you love Jesus clap your hands, na na na na na na, Sock it to the devil now"........LOL. He did finally quiet down. Jennifer was telling us all about the things she saw and Hannah was being rather quiet. We get to the cash register and were standing there minding our own business when I hear Hannah, make a cough choke sound. I turn around to the ERUPTION...! Yep, puke EVERYWHERE! Now she was sitting in the seat that faces the cart where the baby was sitting. It is a 3 seater shopping cart. I mean she is puking and puking and puking. I run to get some napkins from the deli which we happened to be across from. People are staring in horror of course. And I am catching and mopping up mess. Douglas is sitting next to Hannah and going ewwwwwwwwwww gross. Jennifer is going "ewwwwwwww" and then she starts gagging after giving her sister the "HOW DARE YOU PUKE ON ME" look. LOL. So she finally stops, and I get her partially cleaned up and book it to the bathroom. I take the kids still strapped in to the grocery cart into the bathroom. Of course that brings a sales associate on the run....LOL. But when she found out why...she was helpful and supportive. Very sympathetic. My mom then comes in with the clothes she had just purchased and we change Hannah after bathing her with the paper towels. I also must mention it was in MY SHOE! We have no choice but to go to the grocery store. So off we go to the grocery store and I pray that she doesn't puke again. Thankfully we made it home with no more puking. But my nephew was horrid in the grocery store, guess he didn't get enough attention while my dd was puking her guts out. IN any case, Hannah is now napping and the clothes are in the washer.......and as for the shoes.....I cleaned them the best I could. The Target people were very helpful and nice. I also told them NOT to use that cart until it was cleaned. Apparently this is a rare occurence as most people will just leave it puke covered for the next customer. But my conscience would NOT let me to that. I cleaned it up the best I could and then told them about it. They were quite thankful.......LOL. So that was our morning..........needless to say our preschool activity of the day was how to clean up and avoid spreading germs.......LOL.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Just rambling

We have all been under the weather again.....well mostly me but now all is pretty much well, besides the fact the baby has icky poops that I will not go into. I have started a homeschool blog in hopes it will help me be more motivated to work more with Hannah on her preschool type stuff.

Life is beyond busy and I rarely get to check in on my own blog much less my favorite blogs. Hopefully things will slow down a bit, soon, and I can come up with a workable schedule to make things flow more smoothly. I am getting on top of household that is a relief. So hopefully, once I get that all settled and a workable routine things will get back to normal. Our routine has been messed up for a while now, but hopefully that is on the mend.

Hannah is currently trying to avoid clean up time by suddenly having to go potty. Jennifer is systematically taking out things we have already put away. So I must intervene and attempt to make clean up time part of a learning/play activity. Well, it is worth a try.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008