Tired Tuesday

Jennifer has had such a nasty cold that she has not been sleeping. She does not get as sick as Christopher does with colds but she doesn't sleep. She was coughing so hard last night she was choking and gasping and could not talk. I picked her up and patted her back and gave her a drink and she was okay. Stuff like that, freaks me out some times because of Christopher's history. She isn't Christopher but that sound....gasping for air, goes right through you. This morning she is fine. I think I am going to try giving her a steam bath a few times today. Maybe that will loosen things up.

So many children in this world suffer greater struggles than my kids ever have. Their families face battles I can not even imagine. I admire them, pray for them and ask God to intervene.

Then there are those times when my kids are sick or Christopher's asthma is so bad that I wonder if he will make it through the night. At those times, my heart is ripped in two. Any time your child suffers from something, be it minor or major, your heart hurts for them. I do know what it is like to look into the eyes of my child and see his very life fading from him. I do know what it is like to feel his precious spirit slipping away. Only by God's grace do I still have my son. I am awed, humbled and grateful to God for my son, my girls. May God bless all the dear children in this world who suffer catastrophic, illness, injury or challenges.

I am weary this morning from days of not sleeping well but my child except for a cold is healthy and strong. I don't have to worry that she will not be here. I think because I have looked death in the face where one of my children is concerned, it changed who I am. It made me more cautious, protective and appreciate the little things. However, like any mom, sometimes, I take for granted the fact I can be woken up at night by a crying child. My kids can whine and be naughty. The can be sweet and loving, they can put their little arms around me and hug. I am tired but I know my little girl will get better. Of course if I could have a bit more sleep, it would be easier. So I might be tired but I'll sleep one day soon. And one day my children will not need mommy in the middle of the night. When that happens I have no idea what I'll do. Probably get a puppy that will need me in the middle of the night.