Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Scriptures for Today

From time to time I post scriptures that have specific meaning for me that day. So today, is one of those days. I have a scripture box that I can pull scripture cards from. On one side is a scripture, on the other, a prayer. I am going to list a couple that touched my heart today. A day I am tired and weary. A day, that the burdens of life seem to be overwhelming me in the light of bills, problems with my son's eating issues and more. So here are my scriptures for today, may they minister not only to me, but to someone else.

"Cast they burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain the: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.". Psalm 55:22

The prayer on the card: Our Trust is in Thee, O God. Let us never give in to discouragement.

My thoughts: I did give into discouragment this morning where my son's eating issues, due to his sensory disorder is concerned. I really think part of his problem is all in his head. He thinks he will have a problem so he does not even try. In, my sleep deprived state (the baby didn't sleep well). I gave him pears instead of fruit medley. He ate his toast but did not touch the fruit. I asked him what was wrong, he said "that's not medley, its pears". I for the first time in my life, tried to force him, I am ashamed. I did get some pears on his lips but of course not in his mouth. Then I smacked him and yelled. And honestly I really have had it. HE has to decide to eat. I can't make him. Although, today I tried. When I saw his face I was ashamed. I promised myself I would NEVER EVER do that. Today, I reached a limit I didn't know I had and I tried to force him. Did it help? No, of course not. We were both in tears and I had to calm down before I could speak to him. I said I was sorry for losing my temper, held him, rocked him and cried with him. Then we prayed. I prayed over him that God would heal his mind so he will eat and prayed much more. I need to cast this burden on the Lord. It is too heavy for me. I can't deal with it anymore. I am tired of the eating issues. I usually just leave it up to him and he goes hungry. I am tired of him going hungry when he has a perfectly acceptable choice in front of him. If he would just TRY. So I must cast this burden on my Lord. Cause I can't do this anymore. No one will help him cause it isn't a learning disability. We can't afford therapy for this disorder, like he used to get. So we only have the answer of Jesus. He is the One and only One that can do this. I am done, I surrender.

"The Lord is my strength and song, and He is become my salvation."
Exodus 15:2

the prayer: Lord, order my steps today. Make me strong, not for the sake of possessing strength, but to make me sufficient for the crisis moments in my life and in the lives of others who reach out to me.

My thoughts: I need His strength. I can't live this life without Him. I need his strenght to face our financial needs and burdens. I need His strength not to worry about not having children to babysit to help the income. I need His strength to deal with the baby not sleeping, Christopher not eating and Hannah going through this jealous mean stage with Jennifer. I can't do it alone. I am weak but He is strong.

"Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord they God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9

the prayer: When I feel alone, Father, help me to remember that you are with me and I have nothing to fear.

my thoughts: Even though somedays are overwhelming and my son's needs seem like a huge mountain, I am not alone. When I feel most alone, He is with me. I don't have to fear my son will never be normal. God will heal him. And one day I will look back and see what God has done.


Anonymous said...

hmm.wish i coulda been there to give you a hug and cry with you. been there, done that. no fun for anyone involved. i won't give you advice on feeding your son, as i have a daughter who lives on catsup and apples. whatever.

a book i read that helped me so much was "she's gonna blow". it helped me understand the anger, what can lead up to it, and how to take care of myself and my children in the midst of it. i am so proud of you for asking for forgiveness of that precious child. they are SO FORGIVING! sweet, sweet Thelma, God is with you.

Brandi said...

What a sweet, vulnerable post. My nephew also had an eating disorder that was SO frustrating to her! It is SO hard to cast those things on the LORD!

Also, what a sweet opportunity to teach your little one about confession and forgiveness. Truly, they need to see us fail and repent.

He saw Jesus in you today,


Thelma said...

thanks so much yall. God is faithful to lead us and guide us even when we trip, stumble and fall, He is there to pick us up, brush us off and help us keep on walking, isn't He? I am so glad the Lord is mine and I am His.

Thelma said...

oh and I want to get that book, and I think my sister has it so I am going to borrow it from her.