Sunday, January 3, 2010

My Need for Him

My Need for HIM is huge. All my plans for this year can only be accomplished through Him. I saw this picture and only noticed 3 children. The little boy could be Christopher, the girl standing at His shoulder could be Hannah and the little one leaning on His lap, my Jennifer. Then I noticed the 4th girl in the picture, where you only see the back of her head. That represents me, coming to Jesus like a child but at the same time giving my children to HIM. I give my life, my husband and my children to the Savior. I bow down and say I am...take me....use me....mold me....make me. I am flawed. I am not perfect. I am not always beautiful of spirit. I can be ugly. I can be disobedient. But I am YOURS. My Lord and my God, my need for you outweighs my words.

As I listen to music in the background......"I can only imagine".... it is true. I can only imagine what God can do. It seems that the more we try the more we struggle. I need HIM to make a way where there is no way. There are parts of my heart still under construction. Parts of my heart still being healed from things, events, words spoken to it that were like darts. Yet, my Lord, my Savior took it all upon Himself that I might be free. So I kneel........I confess my need for Him. I can not rise, I can not live, I can not breathe without Him. My desire to do more this year is heavy upon my soul. My desire to do more as wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, prayer warrior, and scripture seeker is so strong. Yet the spirit is willing and the flesh is weak. We all want to do more, do better, grow deeper. We try. We make promises only to find ourselves falling down and struggling just to make it. However, it is through Him, resting upon His promises....resting in Him that I can mount up with wings as eagles. I want to fly. But first I must kneel and fall on my face and rest in His assurance that HE is my strength. He created me to fly and He created my wings. BUT it is HE who is my wind to soar. It is HE who is my strength and my endurance. He is the wind beneath my wings. He is my life source. I NEED HIM.

I believe I am standing on the beginning of miracles in our lives. I believe my son will be healed. I believe my husband and I will have a ministry. I believe that all that was meant for our destruction will fall like useless darts at the hands of a mighty God. My God, my Lord, my King is in control. HE will prevail. This family will stand mighty for our Savior. We will dance for Jesus. We will do HIS calling on our lives. HE alone will get the glory. We will speak for Him. WE will LIVE for Him. And we will SOAR for HIM.