Friday, January 1, 2010

Just as I am

I resolve to not worry so much about others judgements of me. Or that if I say something about how I feel, it will be misinterpreted or misunderstood. I am me. Like me as I am or not. I have never been mean, but I do have feelings. If I voice an opinion about something in frustration, it does not mean.....that my love for that person is less. It does not mean I do not respect that person. Today I watched someone choose to have a poor attitude. I chose NOT to let it get to me. People choose to believe what they want and make judgements. Sometimes those judgements are based on small snapshots of what they see. I am a human. I make mistakes. I am imperfect, being molded by the hand of the Master.

Sometimes, I am going to get upset with people in my life. Sometimes, I am going to vent. Does that mean I love them less or think everything they do is wrong? No it means I am human. My blog is often a sounding board. I try to protect the identity of the people I discuss. However, I guess sometimes it is apparent. However, it doesn't mean I don't love them or respect them. But they are a part of my life. They help me grow at times. And at at times, well, they don't. People in our lives can help sometimes and they can hinder. It is our decision to do with it what we will. We can choose to ignore negativity and move on. Or, we can choose to let it fester and never discuss it anywhere. When we do grows like a boil and poisons us. that frame, I will be myself in my blog. I will try and protect identities of those I discuss. However, I will be myself. As I endeavor to work more on my blog, I will be honest. I will be real. I will not worry about who might read my blog and think about me. I am me. I am honest. I live life with integrity. I will not openly call out anyone. I might mention people from time to time in frustration of the moment, BUT, that most times will be obvious. If someone misunderstands what I am trying to say, that is not intentional. I am trying to be real in this blog. Show my warts and all. I am not perfect. I am human. I have feelings, misunderstandings, imperfections, good qualities, bad qualities, areas I need to grow in and areas I am doing pretty good in. So whatever comes out this year in this blog.....I hope you get a snap shot......of a woman.......seeking to be who GOD wants her to be through all her imperfections. Wanting to be better and stronger and deeper in Him. I hope you see a wife and mother who wants to grow in those roles. I am just me. Daily seeking to be more like Jesus. Failing sometimes, succeeding sometimes but always, always loved through my imperfections and made perfect in my weakness by HIM. So dear reader.......this is me. Imperfect, cracked in spots, leaking in others and at times bleeding from the wounds of life. God is my source and He is the one fixing all those things and molding me into who He wants me to be. He looks at my imperfect, broken, leaking cracked self....and He For I am His creation and to Him.......I am fearfully and wonderfully made.....and that is my prayer that I will live this year coming to HIM, humbly and lovingly.....Just As I Am. For that is the only way I can grow from Just as I Am to just as HE wants me to be...