The light filters softly into a dark room from a doorway. It is a soft light. There is a soft creaking sound as I gently float back and forth. I hear the melody of my mother's voice singing in the night. I am wrapped in a fuzzy pink blanket and I feel safe and warm. I hear the sound of her breath and voice and the creaking of that old rocking chair and I feel safe and warm. She brushes her fingers softly across my forehead and cheek, soothing me, willing me to sleep. I keep watching her face holding on to wakefulness and the light...just to stay in this feeling....I feel so safe and warm.
That is my first memory. I remember it. I remember the color of the blanket and I was too young to know the colors. I asked my mother about this memory and described how the light came from the right of me and where the rocking chair was sitting based on the door and the light. She said I had to be less than a year old. My mother always sang the same few songs to us when she rocked us to sleep. Faith filled songs of love. In The Garden, Abide With Me, Rock of Ages and a few more. The one I remember most is In The Garden
:" I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses and the voice I hear falling on my ear the Son of God discloses and He walks with me and He talks with me and He tells me I am His own and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known....
That song, that song still moves me and in my mind, I always hear it in my Mama's voice. I sang it to my own kids. I sing it at work when rocking a restless baby to sleep. It is most likely my favorite song in all the world.
The blanket I remember was heavy and fuzzy. To this day I love the feeling of a heavy blanket when I am cold or just needing some comfort. Now I outgrew the need to be rocked, LOL and I don't particularly like creaking sounds but back then..that sound was like listening to crickets on a summer night.
My mother did not tell me this memory. I asked her about it after I was a grown up. She was so surprised. I think sometimes a memory can be so profound and so special it imprints on your soul and heart in a way that other memories do not. I will always treasure this first memory.