Thursday, December 31, 2009

Last Day of the old year and last day as a 41 year old

Today is the last day of the year. Tomorrow dawns a new year and my birthday. I will be 42. Do I feel 42? No, not really. I feel like an immature person who makes too many mistakes. Do we ever "feel" grown up? I see people who seem to have it all together and I marvel at them. I know you aren't supposed to be jealous, but I do get a tad bitten by the green eyed monsters of these ladies who have it all together. Then I am reminded, they may feel the same way I do. None of us are immune to feeling this way.

As the New Year dawns there is so many hopes I have for my family and myself. I pray we can get on a more even keel financially. I pray I can become a stronger Christian, a better wife and a better mother. I pray some way, some how God will allow us to have a house instead of an apartment. I pray that my children will be healthy.

For Christopher, I pray most of all he will get past his sensory issues and EAT.

For Hannah, I pray she realizes that being the middle child doesn't mean she is forgotten. We try to show this to her in many ways, but you see it in her eyes sometimes....middle child syndrome.

For Jennifer it is a more selfish prayer, that she will learn to stop wetting the bed at night.

For Mike, that his dreams of becoming a pastor of a church on a constant basis will be realized. Whether, he becomes an associate pastor or a head pastor is irrelevant. But he wants to preach and teach.

For myself, that I will learn how to be more organized. Be a avid Bible reader and a strong prayer warrior. God HIMSELF will be my guide. I see in myself the things I lack and I know there MUST be change for growth. Old things must be cast away. I must be pruned and trimmed. I am ready Lord, teach me. Mold me, make me into the woman YOU want me to be.

I feel like we have had a year of storms, rain, trials and tests. But I also believe there is new growth peeking out of the flood and the rain. As tender shoots brave the storms that have assailed us, God will bring to good what was meant for bad. Somehow, we will be victorious and we will look back and see that it was a time of change and growth. Out of rain comes new life. Our of storms come rainbows. God is faithful.