Dear Children

I am your mother. I am not your slave, although you seem to think so. And no my dear 8 year old son, I did not suddenly lose brain cells recently and you do not need to explan to me how to fix dinner. I have been cooking for quite some time. My dearest Hannah you do not need to whine in order to get your way. Fact of the matter is, whining has the opposite effect on Mommies. It makes us move slower just to protect our ears and brain from the whining noise. Sweet Jennifer, yes you are working hard to learn to go potty, but could you please go without the bowl insert and just sit on the potty so mommy doesnt have to be sick.

While I am at it. Crayons, go in the crayon bucket, not under the couch cushions or in my shoes where I find them in the mornings while getting ready to take you to school. And on the subject, please brush your teeth when I ask and dont attempt to do it 2 seconds before we go out the door. Also, your prayers are very cute but they are not a way to communicate to Mommy through God that you want a particular toy. No fair using God over Mommy. God can say NO too. I love you all dearly. You have great, bright imaginative minds, please use them to do creative things instead of using them to fight creatively. Calling your brother or sister a donkey head is not cute or becoming and it is still calling names. Oh and beds do not make themselves and laundry does not get in the hamper by itself. They need your hands and your legs to help them. Free the clothes from the floor and the grime and put them in the laundry so I can wash them. One more thing......I am not a short order cook. Eat what you are given. I do not make strange unknown foods from the planet garbedly gook. I make food you know and love. So eat it or go without.

Love you.
Mommy

Singing the blues

Hannah just sang this to Me....... WORD FOR WORD!





I want to just sing the blues so I can cry, so Dougie can't sing the blues, cant sing blues. You have to say sorry, so all I want is to sing the blues. I dont want to do something ...like my mom did not let me have any candy blues. so I do everything I dont do everything I need to do.....so I want you to sing along, and I really really want you to sing along with the blues. I did not get the earings so I will sing the blues and I did not get a necklace so will sing the blues. So I want to just have a ballerina thing but I cant and I cant dance with a princess so I just want to sing the blues.

Pnuemonia Strikes again

Christopher has had a bad cold almost since his last asthma flare in September. It has now turned to pnuemonia. However, I refuse to let it get me down. He is NOT In the hospital which is a miracle in and of itself. His breathing is not as bad as it has been in the past. His cough, well its horrid. Makes you hurt just listening to him. He is out of school until Thursday, which makes 11 total already this year! Asthma and lung issues are really giving us trouble this year. He is such a trooper. Worrying more about missing school and school work than any 8 year old I know. He was given a 5 day antibiotic, where he takes a large dose today and then 4 smaller doses the next 4 days. I am just glad this time, he did not have to have the shot. Last time he had pnuemonia he had to have shots and it was horrid and he ended up in the hospital anyway. Hopefully this time, we caught it sooner. So, here we are facing pnuemonia and on red alert status with his breathing. His spirit, his joy and his endurance never ceases to amaze me. He is my little hero!

Sweet prayers

Today I went to a ladies Bible Study at my church. The church we have been attending not the one Mike is interim pastor at. Anyway, at noon the nursery workers bring the children to the moms if the service hasnt quite let out. We were up front praying for people's needs. Jennifer came to me and I was holding her in my arms still praying for people. She herself, began laying her hands on people and praying for them. She'd mutter something with a serious look on her face and say amen. Eat some of the cookie she had in her hand and pray some more. What a picture of trust and love of God. She may be only 2. But she understands in her own way, you pray for others. I think she believes she will get an asnwer. She lifted her hands towards heaven and praise the Lord too. What more beauty does a Christian mom want to see than the faith of her child growing by leaps and bounds. I am blessed beyond belief.

Monday Musings

This is my Hannah's (age 4) picture of God. Above Him is the sky and below Him is the earth. Unknown to her this picture captures the essence of God. He was in creation and active part of creation and the problems of earth are much smaller than His power. He is in control. Though He allows things to happen upon the earth to us whom He loves so deeply.....He is never far from us. He is bigger than all our problems or worries. His love for us goes deeper than we can imagine. He gave us His Son for our sins, though we were unworthy.

Watching my children's faith grow is beyond words. They trust God with all things. As an adult, too many times I let the what if's get in the way. I try to fix it myself. My children, pray and expect God to answer in their behalf and for their benefit. They pray without doubt. That is why God says for us to come to Him like a little child. I think my daughter's picture of God is beautiful and it made me think of how truly amazing our children view our world, our faith and so much more. God is good all the time, no matter what is going on, I can rely on HIM.

What you never knew before parenthood

You never knew that you'd fall so deeply in love. You never knew you'd celebrate, discuss and think about poop so much. First when you bring your new baby home, you talk about how frequent, the consistency, whether it is something to worry about or not. When they are potty training, you celebrate every poop in the potty with great fanfare, stickers and candy. You never knew that you would enjoy sticky lipped kisses or paint filled creations that are heavy and damp when you hang them up. You never knew that "wuv you mommy" could make you melt. You never knew sleep deprivation that lasted weeks on end but that you willingly put up with as you walked your colicky baby in the wee hours of the morning. You never knew fear so incredibly horrid when your child was deathly ill. You never knew you could pray sincerly over a child's "sick bear" because he or she asked you too. You never saw the world the same before you had children. Being a parent, makes you a better person because you learn to live life with your eyes open and full of joy.

Could it really be that he is 8 years old? Wasn't it just yesterday I held him in my arms for the first time? 8 years ago today at 6:32 am Eastern time, he came into the world crying and peeing on the nurse(which he did twice). I was out cold under general anesthesia due to failure to progress, pre-eclampsia and a failed eipdural. Much about that day I do NOT remember, I was so drugged on magnesium sulfate for the preeclampsia. Unknown to me, they held my newborn son to my cheek and let him "kiss me" right after he was born so he could "smell mommy". Hours later, we rolled by the nursery, me on a stretcher and basically to drugged to know I was in the world. BUT, they laid my first born son on my chest. I looked into those huge, dark, alert and vibrant eyes and felt a powerful jolt, a surge of electricity as a mother's love was unleashed on her first born. Surely, the heavens stood still for it felt as if all time had stopped and it was just him and I. In those few moments, my life was changed forever. It was one of the most single defining moments of my life, the day I became a mother. Everything, I had always wanted to be, everything I'd always dreamed of came true that day. I had a loving husband and a child. I did not understand before that day; how truly incredible heart stopping and earth shattering love is. I wanted to live, sleep, eat and breathe motherhood. Of course, I was soon to find out......that is just what you do, even at 3 am when you haven't slept in weeks, you can't take off motherhood. It is who you are. But in those first hours......the magic of new life overwhelmed me. That my Lord and my God would bless me with such a gift and entrust me to take care of him; that was not only humbling but scary. How could I, someone who makes so many mistakes actualy raise this totally dependent awesome creation to be who God wants Him to be. Then God spoke in the quiteness of the early dawn the next day as I held my newborn son to my chest to feed him: I am with you, fear not for I am with you I am your God and I will uphold you and through me all things are possible. Do not be afraid for in your weakness I am strong and I will help you and teach you. Trust me.

God in all his infinit wisdom gave me a child who would face many challenges. Allergies so severe they could take his life, asthma so severe we almost lost him on several occasions and sensory issues that threatned his very development. Through it all God has been there. When he was 16 months old and lay dying in my arms; God whispered to my aching, breaking mommy heart......"GIVE HIM TO ME, give ME control". Tears running down my face, voice shaking with emotion, I said "Yes, Lord, I will." I leaned over to my dying child and whispered in his little ear. "Christopher, I love you. Daddy loves you. YOU mean the world to us. But if Jesus calls you home, go to Him. You will be okay and we will be okay". And at that moment I surrendered my child to my Lord. From that moment on my child slowly but surely began to get better. Why God chose for it to take place that way I do not understand. Why some mother's do have to release their children to the arms of the Father only to be seen again on the other side of glory, I do not know. But I do know my heart changed again that day. And although I still struggle from time to time with complete trust in my Lord..........I KNOW that I KNOW my Lord has my children in the palm of His hand. Christopher through his many illnesses has learend a deep faith in God. At 3 he told me "Mommy, Jesus and Mercy(his imaginary friend who we believe is his guardian angel) sit by my bed and tell me not to be afraid". Once when he was 5 and in intensive care he said Jesus came to see him while he was there. My child.......he humbles me, awes me. I have seen my child crying out, all on his own, with no prompting to hear from Lord. Trying to reach heaven with his outstretched hands raised to the heavens. My little boy cried out to know more of God. Yes, he is a normal child who makes mistakes and can be fresh and naughty BUT the faith he has is beyond explanation. I am humbled by my son. I am blessed to be his mother. Happy Birthday my son. You were our first child and each of you children have gifts God has graced you with that make you all so special, so amazing beyond words. You are a miracle my son. A miracle from God and I praise the Lord for who you are and all you are going to become......because my dear and precious son, God has great and mighty plans for you. Run toward the calling He has called you to. Do not look back but press on towards the calling Jesus has placed in you.
Love Mommy

Report from the potty training trenches

No diapers today except for nap......1 accident no pee or poops in the potty........sigh. diaper only slightly damp after nap.........put her on the potty nada..in the 15 min in between potty trips she had an accident.....(poop and pee)....sigh. So I just dumped it in the toilet and said poop goes here...... hoping she'd get the idea, sat her on the potty and then cleaned her bum.







I can do this...........I think I can I think I can....she just "filled" the potty.......well with toilet paper.....no pee pee or poop..........just wadded up toilet paper......and said I pee pee.....candy please.....so I go check and there is no pee, paper not even wet....she was not happy I didnt give her candy cause she did put "something in the potty" she is too smart for her briches.......LOL. I have the potty seat insert for the big commode and left the potty seat bowl inside so I'd know if she did a little pee pee or not instead of trying to guess in the big bowl.....please Lord let this child go potty......it would save us a bundle of money.....LOL

It has been a long time coming update

The economy....mortgage bail out........stiffer criteria for mortgage seekers.......all of it came together and we lost our contract and mortgage approval. Sad to say, we are still in our apartment. Life is stressful or has been. Christopher's asthma is bad, bad, bad. He has already missed 5 days of school. Thankfully this was fall break or he would have missed more! This is the sickest he has been and not been in the hospital. He stays on the brink of needing to be admitted but so far we are at least one step ahead.

Everyone is doing well other than that. Mike is preaching temporarily at a church whose pastor resigned. It is not a paid position. Hannah loves preschool and was not happy we had fall break.

Now I am going to try and get back to blogging. This is just a thread to say I did not fall off the planet........life is just too busy, plus we were without the internet for WEEKS! NOT good........LOL.