Dear Jennifer

3 years ago today you came into our lives and graced us with the gift of another daughter. From the moment we found out your were on the way, we knew you were a miracle. Your little brother or sister had been lost just before we conceived you and our Father in heaven heard our plea and Graced us with you....thus your middle name is Grace. When you were born.....you had some problems and the doctors thought you would end up in NICU and we began calling people to pray. The doctor came in and said...."I was really worried about your baby but SUDDENLY she began to improve, you can keep your baby with you". Well my sweet girl, SUDDENLY means prayer works.

This year you have grown so much, learned so much and now go in the potty. You have such a positive outlook on life. You see joy in everything you do. Your answer to why you are cute, or how you know stuff or how anyone knows anything is Jesus did it. You love Jesus. Your prayers are so sweet and poignant. You have such great faith for one so young.

You adore your brother and sister and want to be just like them. You try to do exactly what they do. Your pouty moments are few and far between but when they happen they are still so cute. You are a charmer. Your bright blue eyes are full of light.

My sweet girl we are so thankful for you. We praise God you have such a loving, giving personality and that your first thought when someone is not feeling well is "wet us pway Mama" (let us pray). Thank you for being you. Thank you that even in your naughty moments you are quick to repent and say sorry.

We love you sweetie.
Mommy and Daddy

Could it really be that he is 8 years old? Wasn't it just yesterday I held him in my arms for the first time? 8 years ago today at 6:32 am Eastern time, he came into the world crying and peeing on the nurse(which he did twice). I was out cold under general anesthesia due to failure to progress, pre-eclampsia and a failed eipdural. Much about that day I do NOT remember, I was so drugged on magnesium sulfate for the preeclampsia. Unknown to me, they held my newborn son to my cheek and let him "kiss me" right after he was born so he could "smell mommy". Hours later, we rolled by the nursery, me on a stretcher and basically to drugged to know I was in the world. BUT, they laid my first born son on my chest. I looked into those huge, dark, alert and vibrant eyes and felt a powerful jolt, a surge of electricity as a mother's love was unleashed on her first born. Surely, the heavens stood still for it felt as if all time had stopped and it was just him and I. In those few moments, my life was changed forever. It was one of the most single defining moments of my life, the day I became a mother. Everything, I had always wanted to be, everything I'd always dreamed of came true that day. I had a loving husband and a child. I did not understand before that day; how truly incredible heart stopping and earth shattering love is. I wanted to live, sleep, eat and breathe motherhood. Of course, I was soon to find out......that is just what you do, even at 3 am when you haven't slept in weeks, you can't take off motherhood. It is who you are. But in those first hours......the magic of new life overwhelmed me. That my Lord and my God would bless me with such a gift and entrust me to take care of him; that was not only humbling but scary. How could I, someone who makes so many mistakes actualy raise this totally dependent awesome creation to be who God wants Him to be. Then God spoke in the quiteness of the early dawn the next day as I held my newborn son to my chest to feed him: I am with you, fear not for I am with you I am your God and I will uphold you and through me all things are possible. Do not be afraid for in your weakness I am strong and I will help you and teach you. Trust me.

God in all his infinit wisdom gave me a child who would face many challenges. Allergies so severe they could take his life, asthma so severe we almost lost him on several occasions and sensory issues that threatned his very development. Through it all God has been there. When he was 16 months old and lay dying in my arms; God whispered to my aching, breaking mommy heart......"GIVE HIM TO ME, give ME control". Tears running down my face, voice shaking with emotion, I said "Yes, Lord, I will." I leaned over to my dying child and whispered in his little ear. "Christopher, I love you. Daddy loves you. YOU mean the world to us. But if Jesus calls you home, go to Him. You will be okay and we will be okay". And at that moment I surrendered my child to my Lord. From that moment on my child slowly but surely began to get better. Why God chose for it to take place that way I do not understand. Why some mother's do have to release their children to the arms of the Father only to be seen again on the other side of glory, I do not know. But I do know my heart changed again that day. And although I still struggle from time to time with complete trust in my Lord..........I KNOW that I KNOW my Lord has my children in the palm of His hand. Christopher through his many illnesses has learend a deep faith in God. At 3 he told me "Mommy, Jesus and Mercy(his imaginary friend who we believe is his guardian angel) sit by my bed and tell me not to be afraid". Once when he was 5 and in intensive care he said Jesus came to see him while he was there. My child.......he humbles me, awes me. I have seen my child crying out, all on his own, with no prompting to hear from Lord. Trying to reach heaven with his outstretched hands raised to the heavens. My little boy cried out to know more of God. Yes, he is a normal child who makes mistakes and can be fresh and naughty BUT the faith he has is beyond explanation. I am humbled by my son. I am blessed to be his mother. Happy Birthday my son. You were our first child and each of you children have gifts God has graced you with that make you all so special, so amazing beyond words. You are a miracle my son. A miracle from God and I praise the Lord for who you are and all you are going to become......because my dear and precious son, God has great and mighty plans for you. Run toward the calling He has called you to. Do not look back but press on towards the calling Jesus has placed in you.
Love Mommy

Dear Jennifer

(Her birthday letter)

Dear Jennifer:

My darling baby, you are precious and a wonder to behold. Can it really be that you are 1 year old. Seems like just yesterday I woke up in labor and tried to convince the doctor to let me come in and have the scheduled c section. You were "scheduled" to be born 2 days later. But, even then you had your own ideas and stuck to your own plans. You never did things by the "book", even in utero. You weren't supposed to be able to do sommersaults, flips and all those twists and turns inside mommy with her that far along. But......you didnt read the book. The night before mommy went into labor you did a HUGE sommersault in mommy's tummy. Unknown to us at that time you ended up getting your cord wrapped around your neck but good. (which is probably why you decided to kick start labor). Obviously you did not like it. I labored most of the day and finally in the afternoon around 4 or 5 pm, my water broke. Fear hit mommy like a ton of bricks cause the fluid was not clear. It meant that you were probably in distress. I called Daddy who was at the airport picking up your grandparents and then I called the doctor who said to come in. So I called a friend and she took me to the hospital. They hooked me up to a monitor and your heart rate was stable. Praise God. They took me in for my c section and I waited for your cry. They told me they would not let you cry right away because they wanted to make sure you didnt breathe in the fluid. So they suctioned you and then let you cry. The most wonderful sound in the world. I cried, daddy cried and you arrived safe and sound. For a few days you had a bit of trouble keeping your heart rate and breathing steady, but people prayed. You were about to be put in the NICU and we called everyone. The doctor came in and said, "she has not been doing well with her heart rate and breathing and we were going to do this and this, and SUDDENLY". Well, my dear do you know what and suddenly means......it means God performed a miracle and your breathing and heart rate suddenly stablized. We were thrilled. We brought you home and you filled our lives. You completed our family. Christopher and Hannah were thrilled with you and would watch you in amazement. This year has been filled with many things. We moved from L. to LP and you lived in two different places in your first year of life. You have done everything early and on your own schedule. You are easygoing and happy for the most part. You are very loving. You will walk up to mommy and lay your head on my leg and rub my leg with your hand, just loving and being close. You can say "I wu oo" (I love you). You have several words but you dont talk a lot like you used to. You are too busy walking, exploring and climbing. But when you need to you will use them. You are a joy. An utter joy. Your brother and sister adore you. Hannah gets a bit jealous sometimes but so do you. You will push them away if they are loving on mommy and we are having to teach you to share. You will eat anything that doesn't eat you first. Christopher is beyond picky, Hannah really only likes veggies and some meats, but YOU will eat anything! You love food. You are petite and sweet. People say you are smart and quick. The nursery worker at church adores you and thinks you are the smartest baby she has ever seen. I tend to agree, LOL. Jennifer you are our last little baby and it amazes me just how quick you are growing up. I treasure you because you are you and you have so many things that are yours alone. Each of you children are unique and special. Never forget my little Jenn Jenn, God made you special. He planned you to be in our lives and we are better because you graced us with your presence. Your big blue eyes hold wonder and innocence and beauty. Your laugh is like a melody. Your cry, well it is full of drama and will break anyone's heart in a million pieces and make them want to "fix" whatever happens to be the trouble. My darling daughter I am so greatful for you, your life, your sweetness, your joy and even your naughtiness. Cause you can be so full of mischief. I love you Jennifer Grace. You are precious.
Love Mommy