Stroll down Memory Lane

In Honor of my 200th post, I took a stroll down memory lane. I went back and read some of my blog entries. As I stroll back in time, I see so much of God's hand. Yes, there were stormy days and hours and sorrow. But on each horizon the ever shining hope in Christ Jesus that we would make it through each storm. I read back and see the birth of my children's faith. I see love unfolding and sorrows being healed. I see so much that God has brought us through. I see so much that the enemy meant for harm but that God used for good. My children have grown so much. My family has grown stronger and closer. We may not have much in regards to the world's view of wealth but in love, in hope, in faith, and in the things of our Lord we are rich beyond description. What God is doing and has done in our lives.........astounds me. My God is ever faithful, a very present help in time of need (that scripture is so true). Today, I am thankful. Thankful for the trials, thankful for the sorrow, thankful for the blessings and thankful for the joy. I sit in utter amazement at the magnificence of my Lord and I praise my God for all that He is and all that He is doing. I praise God for a family rooted and grounded in Christ Jesus our Lord. And I look forward to all that God has in store for us.

In the pictures over the last 200 posts, I see my children growing up. They grow so fast and leave little bits of their childhood behind for mommy to treasure. In those bits of childhood are precious pieces of who God has planned them to be. They are full of hope, promise and possibility. May our Lord of all keep me always mindful that even through the trials and storms, HE is the sunrise and sunset on the horizon. He is our hope and our strength. In HIM alone can I find everything I need for the past, present and future.

What you never knew before parenthood

You never knew that you'd fall so deeply in love. You never knew you'd celebrate, discuss and think about poop so much. First when you bring your new baby home, you talk about how frequent, the consistency, whether it is something to worry about or not. When they are potty training, you celebrate every poop in the potty with great fanfare, stickers and candy. You never knew that you would enjoy sticky lipped kisses or paint filled creations that are heavy and damp when you hang them up. You never knew that "wuv you mommy" could make you melt. You never knew sleep deprivation that lasted weeks on end but that you willingly put up with as you walked your colicky baby in the wee hours of the morning. You never knew fear so incredibly horrid when your child was deathly ill. You never knew you could pray sincerly over a child's "sick bear" because he or she asked you too. You never saw the world the same before you had children. Being a parent, makes you a better person because you learn to live life with your eyes open and full of joy.

Perspective, thankfulness faith and joy

Today I was surfing and found a blog about a family who lost their sweet little baby girl after a week to Trisomoy 19. I lost the link because my internet explorer closed down. Anyway, they relished every moment, every coo, every cry with their baby. They knew they would not have her long. The fact she made it to birth was a miracle in itself. But this little girl breathed on her own, and even fed a tiny bit on her own, without a feeding tube. This is beyond a miracle. They talked about their sorrow but also their joy. It put my struggles with my children into perspective! Yes, I face my own hurdles with my son, but the hurdles I face with him are survivable. Yes, I have almost lost my son, but he survived. So, when I complain about his childish, disobedient, stubborn ways, what am I doing. Complaining about something some families would relish in. My children are happy, relatively healthy, growing and prospering. They bring me joy everyday. This family never lost their joy in Jesus throughout their ordeal. Even as they watched their child's life slip further and further away, they relished in the beauty of the gift God had given them in her life. It makes me thankful that God gave me the children He chose to give me. He knew that at such a time as this, Thelma needed, Christopher with all his issues, Hannah with her jealousy and Jennifer with her sleeping troubles. He knew that He could help me be strong to handle each of these small things with His help. But I have to choose to lean on Him. I have to CHOOSE to find joy in the journey. The journey is not always easy but then again, it is not as hard as the journey some people face. I know we all face struggles in our lives as women, mother, women who struggle to even become mothers or mothers whose children live in heaven. I have a child on the other side, lost to early miscarriage. But I am just as much that child's mother as mother to the rest of my children. Yet, in the grand scheme of things there is nothing on this earth I have faced that is as heartbreaking as when the Father looked down on His Son, and had to turn His back on the sin He bore for us. The Son bore it all willingly and the Father turned His back upon the sin because He could not look upon sin. But the joy of a risen Savior far outweighs the sorrow of His death. So I must walk in joy even when I don't feel like walking in joy. My perspective needs to be faith based instead of fear or frustration based. Faith chooses to see the positive despite the circumstances. Faith chooses to see the answer is on the way, even when it doesn't feel like it. Faith is choosing to be thankful for the answer even when it is different than the one you wanted. Perspective, God has a way of changing it and teaching you how to look at things a different way, if you will just let it happen.