Friday, January 25, 2008

Pnuemonia

Christopher has pnuemonia. He is home but on round the clock treatments. He has received two doses of powerful antibiotic via injection at the dr's office. He has lost 2 lbs! He is one sick little boy but at least he is home and not in the hospital. It has been a rough week. My house is a wreck and I have fallen far short of my goals for Bible study, prayer, housekeeping and much more. I see some people who are able to do it all and keep their house clean and organized and tidy. I wish I had better skills at that. I am a work in progress. My patience level is sorely tested this week and I feel like a hypocrit. I just lost it with Hannah because of her continued disobedience and am going to have to apologize for losing my temper.....but I am so angry right now I sent her to her room to be alone. She has pushed me this week to the point I smacked her! I did not hurt her, well not physically, but I lost it, competely. I am at a loss of what to do for her disobedience, deliberate, willfull, right in my face disobedience. I am so angry I could cry. She is a good little girl, yet lately she is behaving horribly. I feel so much anger right now it freaks me out. I love my children. Yet, the anger I feel right now does not feel like that counts. I am ashamed of losing it with her. I am GLAD I sent her to her room though. I should not have smacked her so on the bottom but I did. Why do I let a child push me to this point? It has been such a stressful week, with little sleep and I know that is NOT an excuse......I am so tired and weary and I need God to do some things in me and for me. I can't put into words what I need right now.

Please Dear God: Forgive me for losing it with Hannah. Don't let her heart be damaged cause Mommy acted like a brat throwing her own tantrum. I hate when I do this Lord. I know I am a human being but I am an adult. Please God forgive me and help me soothe my child with love and patience. Give me wisdom to help her obey. I can not do this without you Lord. I can not be a good mommy without you Lord. Help me be the Proverbs 31 mom, sewing seeds of love and gentleness instead of anger
In Jesus Name Amen

4 comments:

Mommy Reg said...

So sorry you sound so tired. I am too but I don't think as much as you. I have one with an ear infection, one with bronchitis, and one with croup. Also one just got over a stomach bug and the hubby too just got over a bug. So... I can really relate. Sometimes kids disobey for attention and that may be part of what is going on. However that never excuses the behavior. I pray you find the wisdom that you need to nip this in the bud.
2 sites I frequent are No Greater Joy Ministries and Raising Godly Tomatoes if you want to check them out.
Blessings

Thelma said...

thanks hon.......I will check those out. Christopher is a bit better this evening......it has been a long, stressful week and I think we are all stressed out and it is showing. Hannah and I had a good talk, on her level about mistakes and behavior and love and paatience. She understood for the most part and we had lots of cuddles, hugs, kisses and forgiveness on both parts.

JeanetteYork said...

i too understand the tiredness and the stress. one thing i have done is started doing "nose to the wall." at the FIRST action of disobedience, they have to stand in the hall with their nose to the wall for a few minutes. it takes the heat off for me, and they don't get distracted like they were for timeouts in their rooms.

we also have a large laminated stop light that i have up. each kid starts out on green every morning. they disobey, and it goes to yellow (with a consequence). they disobey again, and it is a red with a spanking. the only way to go back to green is to go through red, or the next morning. this has TOTALLY helped me, as i really struggle with anger. the kids can see where they are at, and i can too. blah blah blah! sorry so long, but i so understand how that anger kicks in! i will be praying for you dear.

Thelma said...

thanks and I like those ideas.......I could use the stop sign method........thanks so much.