Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Mean girls??

I was watching the Today show this morning and they were talking about "mean girls".  They were discussing whether reality TV, kids show, etc were the cause of girls being so mean to one another these days. 

I don't think it can be blamed, entirely, on television or reality TV.  My girls have on occasion been mean to one another. However, we correct it immediately.  We explain WHY it is wrong and how it makes the other one feel.  Compassion doesn't all come naturally, some of it, is taught.

When a young child, hits another child to be mean, you teach them.  You teach them that it hurts and you have consequences for such behavior.  If a parent excuses their child, every time he or she does something wrong, they learn that behavior is wrong.  If you excuse a girl for being mean saying "that's just girls being girls" teach them it is okay.

Discipline and teaching kids to be kind and compassionate comes through many lessons.  They watch us and how we treat others.  They do things and crave discipline. Yes, I said crave discipline. Children need discipline. They want some one to care enough to correct them when they are wrong. 

I am not talking abuse. I am talking about correction and teaching.  Discipline is teaching not just consequences. 

Am I perfect mother, NOPE!  Haven't earned that distinction yet.  I don't think I will be earning it any time soon, because I too am learning.  The Lord teaches me and disciplines me through His word.

Sometimes, He uses a simple statement, made innocently by my child that is like a good wake up and do right message from the Father Himself. My children don't even know they just preached to Mommy.

So mean girls being the fault of TV? No, not entirely.  Yes, it has some influence, but we also have to take responsibility for our kids behavior and what we are teaching them.

Yes, sometimes, there are kids, that despite what they are taught, act out and become "mean girls", due to no fault of the parents.  However, I do not think this is because of TV.  I think it is a culture thing.  It is cool these days to show...just how "bad" you are...the badder the better. 

If we as a culture did not buy into the dress...well lack there of dress or the hype for "bad girl" behavior, it would not thrive. 

If we rewarded good behavior and highlighted, positive things so many teens and kids do, we would see a change.  Kids would think it was cool to be good.  MOST of the pressure to be bad comes from peer pressure.  Is that influenced by TV, probably.  However we can not blame it on TV. 

Many families are so plugged into technology they are tuned out on their kids.

Lord, help me be tuned into YOU so I can be tuned into my kids.  Help me prioritize my time, my family, my day so that my girls and my son can be...compassionate, loving members of society. People who shine brightly in a world where being mean is cool.  Let them show that kindness and love is the way to live.  Let us live the way YOU would Lord......where we live by loving those who society says is unlovable.  Let us never ever cast stones and let us shine brightly for you.


Burkulater said...

I agree. I have reiterated this to my kids so many times. They actually treat each other very well. However, when my oldest got to school, she had a hard time trying to stick up for herself. She felt like she wasn't being nice. There's got to be a happy medium. We're working on that now.

Thelma said...

yes that is the key..finding the balance.