Home school Preschool...started today

My new adventure is to homeschool Preschool Jenny since we could not get her in voluntary PreK.  We are so excited, Jenny and I.  Settling in the house in coming along and life is getting to a new normal.

Here is what we have done so far today:

PreK this morning:

Jenny and I took kids to school, stopped to have outside playtime at the park. Had snack--counted 10 animal crackers to go with raisins, name writing practice. Now we are going to match alphabet letters to our alphabet train I have spread on the floor.


She is matching pictures from a memory game that are the same..instead of using it as the traditional memory game. Then she is going to cut pieces of red paper to glue on an apple for a back to school project.

Then she is going to play on the swing set for a bit and we are going to go on a hunt for stuff that is yellow in the yard to see if we can find things to make a collage with.

Who is worthy?

I dreamed a dream last night that I can't quite retell but it has something to do with the Prov 31 woman and the holy of holies. About how someone kept trying to tell me I couldn't go into the holy of holies cause I wasn't good enough, dressed enough etc...but my Lord stepped in and said "I have clothed you. You may enter in because I am your covering".....oh My word I am rejoicing this morning....what a dream!

So many people communicate to others why they think a person is not worthy to enter in to fellowship with our Lord. However the truth of the matter is that there is not one among us who could really be worthy apart from the Lord Jesus.  He said to the woman's accusers "you who are without sin, cast the first stone".  None of us can stand holy and worthy before the Lord.  But Jesus in His infinite mercy and love clothes us with HIS righteousness.  I can not stand worthy but my Lord covers me.  His covering is beyond description.  He knows me to my innermost depths.  He knows my hopes, dreams, fears and secrets.  He hears my cries and covers me with His love, mercy, compassion and forgiveness. 

We as Christians make mistakes everyday.  There is not one among us who NEVER sins.  Sin does not have to equal the "big sins".  Sin can be gossip or something that seems simple.  But NO sin is simple.  We don't set out to sin but often times we do.  Or perhaps, God is telling us to do something and we don't want to do it so we ignore Him.  That in the eyes of a Holy Lord........can be the sin of rebellion.  So.....none of us are worthy no not one but......our Lord steps in when we ask Him and covers us.  Sin it says in the Bible so easily besets us.  Not because we necessarily, WANT to sin but because we are fleshly creatures who forget to think through the mind Christ put in us.  We think and act first, too many times, with our regular mind.  Instead of the one, God set apart in Him.  Does it mean there is no hope and that all we can ever do is sin so there is no point?  No it means that Christ is the only way we can stand against sin or in the Holy of Holies.

Negativity of others crushes more people than one can even imagine.  Christians judge others unworthy for many reasons.  I have been judged on many occasions and found lacking by mankind but my Lord found me a beautiful treasured covered by His redeeming love.  I have seen so many pushed out because they weren't cleaned up enough to enter in...but yet Jesus came for whosoever...whosoever is not always the one who looks cleaned up and ready to go into the Holy of Holies.  Often times those who "look ready" are hiding their secrets and burdens under their prettied up dressing.  When if we saw us as Jesus saw us we'd all be standing in rags.  But Jesus arraigns us in the covering of beauty through HIS sacrifice.  No I am not perfect, I often have felt like I lack what is needed...but my Lord dressed me with HIS covering......His love and His peace.  So when you are feeling unworthy, unkempt and undesirable.....cry out to the ONLY one who can take you into the Holy of Holies clothed in HIS beauty and HIS love.  For under His covering I can stand before my God and cry out to Him and be heard and seen as a treasure to be loved and gently held close to His heart because my Jesus' covering enables me to stand in the Holy of Holies.

Today is Moving Day and cleaning out the stuff.

Packing up the truck and heading out to the new city today.  Our family will be together again instead of trying to keep up two households.  Mike has been in the other city for 8 weeks now...I think and most of it spent there.  He came home some but being apart has been hard.  He wasn't able to be with me when we lost Miya.  He couldn't be here for the last week of school.  So much he had to miss out on, but it was only temporary. 

Doing so much by myself with the kids this last few weeks had made me so much more aware of what single Moms go through.  At least I knew at the end of it all, we would be together again. So grateful to God that I do not have to walk life's highway without a live person to walk with me.

We are going to a rental house.  Has a yard with a fence all the way around and an office/playroom and many other benefits over an apartment.  We can get out in the backyard and play with our children and chase fireflies and all those things I grew up doing. 

I feel sad at the same time too.  We have many friends here and family.  While it is only 2 hours East of here it is still not going to be the same.  We have had a good almost 3 years here.  Life is an adventure...now as we walk through this next door; I wonder what God has in store. 

Hopefully after we get moved in and the computer up and running and we are somewhat settled; I can blog again. 

Speaking of moving day and all that goes with it.  Cleaning and packing makes me realize how much God wants to clean out of our lives and for us to get rid of the junk.  When you pack a house, inevitably you discard stuff, junk that has accumulated that you really don't need.  Stuff you were hanging onto for whatever reason that no longer makes sense.  God wants to do that in our hearts too.  We accumulate "stuff".  We hand onto hurts, regrets, pains that we need to let go of.  When if we'd let it go and let God clean it out; our lives would function much better.  So God......I give you permission to clean out and get rid of any junk that has no place in my heart.

Create in me, Oh Lord a heart that doesn't hold onto junk.  A heart open to you and the changes YOU have planned.  A heart of love an  ministry.  Let this adventure of moving be a new lease on my soul as well.  Let me be ready and willing to do whatever you are calling us to do through this adventure.

Lessons learned from Miya

Miya........she lived to short of a time, but what a great teacher she was.  Things I learned from Miya:

Even when in pain, you can find a reason to smile.

Love and once you love someone never let go.

Just cause someone says no, doesn't mean you can't try.

Telling people I love you more...has lots of payback.

Joy is in the journey not the hardship.

Never give up trying to get what you want.

The small things in life, like bubbles and stuffed ducks are important.  Enjoy them.

Shoes are not important, it is better to be barefoot.

Love knows no boundaries.  You can love lots of people in a short time and endear them all to your heart.

The more you love, the more friends you have.

Love has no limitations, even if your body does.

Friends are treasures and gifts, hold them close and camp out in their heart.

There is not enough time in the day to take time for a nap. Too many things to do, see, say and explore. Live life to its fullest.

So many lessons I learned from sweet Miya girl.  These barely touch the surface.  She greatly impacted my life and I will forever treasure the things I learned from sweet Miya.  She had some rough days, but she kept trying. 

Explaining death to children...

While they can not understand in full....as evidenced by my 3 year old asking...."Is Miya still died"?  The faith of a child helps them grasp the things of death better than you thought.  Jenny has been talking about Miya non stop.  I explained to the kids yesterday after deciding they will go with me to the viewing, about the body left behind.  I told them it was not the real Miya, just her body, her shell.  That the soul of Miya, her spirit, what made her Miya is with Jesus and she has a new body that has no pain and no owies. 

So Jenny went into her nursery at church last night and told her teacher.  "Miya is died but her is in heaven with Jesus and her has a new body".  I did not know she would grasp it enough to explain it to someone else.   She has also said in the last couple days "Mommy Miya's wiver is not bwoken anymore".....so true.  The other two have  talked about Miya playing in heaven.  So precious.

I told them that they can be sad and at the same time it is okay to laugh if they feel joy during the day.  That just because they are sad doesn't mean they can't enjoy life.  That if they need to cry they can.  If they don't want to cry they don't have to.  I told them their feelings are okay.  I explained (and will again) the behavior they will need at the viewing.  That it is okay to be a little scared or worried, or sad or even okay if they don't know what to feel.  They can ask questions but must do so with a soft, respectful voice. 

This will be a life lesson. They can say goodbye to their friend who is basking in the presence of Jesus.  I am sure more questions will come.  But hopefully I am helping them through this journey of grief, saying good bye to a dear friend. 

It is still so surreal...

Can Miya really be gone?  Shouldn't the world have stopped spinning on its axis?  The impact she left on our lives is so real.  I feel numb.  I can't imagine the grief of those closer to her, when my own grief is palable.  I was not ready to say good bye.  I completely believed God would heal her this side of heaven.  Why He chose to take her home to heal her, I will never know.  Yet, God is His love and wisdom knows. 

I know that Miya would not want to come back.  She would not want pain and suffering.  She is happy.  She is free.  She is sitting in the presence of the Savior. That is awesome.

Yet, those of us who remain are left with grief so pervasive it filters into our dreams.  The loss of Miya is like a part of our hearts have left.  There is an empty spot in my heart.  Yes I know, I still have my memories, the love she left in her place in my heart.  Yet, today...that is not enough.  I know it is selfish, but I'd like to hold her...touch her...kiss her sweet face.  I got to see her one last time before she left this earth.

Miya was hooked up to every machine known to mankind.  Drugs pumping in her wee little body to do all kind  of things I don't even understand.  I spoke to her and she struggled to open her eyes. She was so sedated.  But I know she KNEW I was there.  I know she KNEW I loved her. 

Oh sweet, sweet Miya girl.....I am glad you are free from pain, but I miss you. 

An angel got her wings..in loving memory of Miya Harris

This morning at 3:45 am, Miya, the little girl I used to babysit earned her wings.   She had received her liver transplant 2-3 weeks ago and has been fighting ever since.  This morning quietly and peacefully, her heart stopped beating and they could not bring her back.  She said goodbye to this world and hello to Jesus. 

Miya was a beautiful precious child.  She loved singing and dancing.  She loved to say "I love you more". 

On this side of heaven we can not understand why she had to suffer so and why the liver transplant took place only for her to go home to heaven.

Alagille's syndrome caused her liver to fail but it did not hamper her sweet spirit.  She touched the lives of everyone she met.  We are forever left with a Miya shaped imprint on our hearts.  We loved you Miya.  We will miss you, but we will see you again.  Dance for Jesus my sweet girl, dance pain free, dance and sing with all your might cause now my sweet girl you are free.  Miss Thelma loves you.