Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Sleep Deprivation and sanity



Once in college, I had been up for days on end, studying for midterms. My dorm roommate and I were living of chocolate international coffees and chocolate candy. We had many challenging classes and were truly suffering from sleep deprivation. As we crossed the campus I was trying to tell her the reason we were so giggly and silly acting was that we were suffering from sleep deprivation........instead I told her "Dawn, we are sluffering". As sleep deprived as I was then, I did not know that it was preparing me for the future when sleep was a precious commodity to be hoarded at all costs. As a mom, just trying to hang on to my precious sanity some days due to lack of sleep; I wonder what that single young woman was thinking. She had no responsibilities other than classes and a part time job. She was free to take naps any time she pleased, go to the mall or out "with the girls" any time she wished. Ahh, so was it bliss, maybe so BUT maybe not. That young woman had yet to have butterfly kisses or sticky handed hugs. She had yet to experience a love that goes beyond description. She did not know that one day she would willingly leap from the bed (albeit very groggily) to search somewhere in the back reaches of a a child's room, under the baby bed for the beloved binky that was lost during sleep. She did not know the pleasure of singing sweet lullaby to her child in the wee hours and watch those trusting eyes in the moonlight, began to flutter and fall closed. She did not realize that daily as a mom, she would question her very sanity some days due to lack of sleep. That sometimes the world between sleep and awake is a strange place to be where you hear your child call out to you or think she is standing next to you, only to come to, and realize it was a sleep deprived hallucination, called hypnagognic(sp?) images. Yeah, I learned that in college. Basically. you can hallucinate, sounds, scents, images and much more in the land right before sleep or when you become so sleep deprived your body is demanding you sleep. So somedays, when I can't carry on a conversation or my sanity seems in question, it is just sleep deprivation, brought about the stage in my child's life called TEETHING of the molars. So, yes I am sane, I just need some sleep. So if my blogs make little to no sense it has less to do with my abilities to blog and more with my ability to try to "sleep" with my eyes open while caring for my kids and my home. In other words, the ULTIMATE of multi tasking. So hopefully, my sleep will return soon and the nice little sleep fairy in her pink sparkly tunic....wait I am falling asleep again..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Wait I must not sleep for the children or awake and the 14 month old princess has just grabbed a marker........hmmmmm, will nap time ever arrive? oh and did you just see that pink elephant fly by with the purple kangaroo, they are going to fix lunch for me and let me sleep........no rats......that is not happening, and I am not losing my sanity....I just need a nap too.

2 comments:

Help meet said...

I remember the days of being able to take naps too!
I know people think I'm crazy sometimes when what I'm saying's not making sense, or I can't remember anything...Sleep deprivation does crazy things!
Naps (when I can get them) are a beautiful thing!

Thelma said...

yes naps are a beautiful thing! and nope I did not get one. LOL. But I think the mystery has been solved. I found 4 new teeth(all 12 month old molars now in partially), plus 3 or more emerging in my dd's gums.....no wonder she is miserable......YIKES.