Day 22: 10 Favorite Songs

Picking favorite songs is very hard.  I love music, especially hymns and praise and worship music. So I will pick 10 but let's just say there are so many songs that I love.

1.  First and foremost is the hymn In The Garden. My Mama sang it to me when I was a baby and the song is about the music as much as the love behind it when she sang it to me. I, in turn, sang it to my own babies.
2. The hymn, One Day At A Time that my grandmother sang while working around her home. Oh, how I love that song.
3. The hymn, Oh, How I Love Jesus. All the women in my life who loved me sang this to me. My Mama, My grandmothers, and my Aunt Hester. 
4. I love the praise and worship song Our God Is An Awesome God by Michael W. Smith. I sang this at every youth service, youth camp, or youth conference I ever went to when I was a teenager. I love this song. It is full of joy and how awesome our God is....
5. Shake by Mercy Me because it makes my heart and soul want to dance, shout, and sing. click here to watch on you tube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8k40xj5Exk
6. Oh Holy Night, I love that song, the meaning behind it and the emotion of the true meaning of Christmas hidden in the words.
7.  Overcomer by Mandisa:  click to see on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8VoUYtx0kw
8. I love the song You Are My Sushine. I have sung it to my kids in my warbly, off tune voice since before they were born. 
9. God's Not Dead by the Newsboys
10. Finally the song, my husband sang to me on our wedding day during our wedding:  I Will Be Here by Steven Curtis Chapman.  I will be here link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1KsGtMZ9HI

Day 21: Something I miss

Today something I miss is a someone, actually two someones. My grandmothers. My Mama's mom, I called her Granny. I am named after her. Her name was Johnie Thelma and she was called Thelma. When I was born my Mama told my brother they would have to call my grandmother Granny instead of Granny Thelma,  because my name was Thelma. He was two. He told her to call me Granny! LOL. My Granny was one of the best prayer warriors I have ever known. When we spent the night she would read from the Bible and the Word would come ALIVE. It was the way she read it. Her prayers were the same. I often would open my eyes and peek just to see if Jesus was actually standing in our presence because not only did she talk to Him as you would your best friend; her prayers brought the presence of God into the room. You could feel His presence when she prayed and I knew that I was in the presence of God when she prayed.  She had faith that would move mountains. She loved with all her heart and she was so kind.  I lost her to cancer when I was 9. I still remember the last time I saw her eyes filled with love and the sorrow of having to say goodbye. The ambulance took her away that day and I watched as it left until it faded into the distance. Back in that day, your loved one was brought  home in the casket and sat in your front room while people came to pay their respects. The day she came home from the funeral home....I threw the door open wide "Granny is here, Granny is here". A well meaning Aunt pulled me back and said...HUSH get out of the way.  My mother stepped forward and told her "leave her alone, this is the last time she will welcome her Granny home and I don't care who it bothers".  That meant the world to me.  I remember her blush pink casket and the white satin where she lay. I remember people saying how "good" she looked and I was confused. She didn't look good to me, she looked gone and cold and absent and I stood willing her to breath. I said goodbye but my Granny never left me. She left a permanent imprint upon my life. If, I can be half the woman my Granny was, I will be proud.

My Dad's Mom, was Grandma Lois. Her middle name was Inez which is also my middle name. I had my Grandma Lois until I was in my 20s.  Oh how I loved her. She would walk her garden singing to her Savior, One day at a time, sweet Jesus...............oh I can still hear her in my mind. Her voice a bit quavery from the aging process but oh so sweet filled with love. She loved me and she taught me about canning fruit and vegetables. She taught me about sewing and gardening. She taught me about cooking and love. Her house always smelled of tea cake, fried chicken and biscuits. You never left her home hungry. She was our biggest defender if we were in trouble with our parents, and told them relax, they will be grown soon enough, let them be kids. However, she did not tolerate disobedience or disrespect. She never ever had to punish me. It took just one word and I corrected my ways.  I also lost her to cancer. I remember the last time I saw her, my sister was brushing her beautiful silver hair and we kissed her goodnight. We had to go home and were coming back after church the next day. Early that Sunday morning we got the call that she had slipped quietly and peacefully into eternity with a smile on her face and a gentle sigh.

Both of my grandmothers had such an impact on my life that I know without a doubt they are partially responsible for my faith in Christ today. They are the reason I know Jesus can be your best friend and oh how I miss them. I wouldn't want them to suffer but oh, how they would love my children.

The Clancy of Queens

I found the story fascinating but hard to follow at times. I enjoy reading about the lives of others, how they view life and how they get through the things they get through.  It was very real and although, for my taste a little too much on language and such, it's real life.  If you want to read about life from a kid caught between two worlds, you will enjoy this. It gives you a glimpse into another time, another place, and another culture. I normally don't read or finish books with foul language but I kept reading this one because of the fact, this was her life as she lived it. If I as a Christian can't understand people simply because they curse or do things I wouldn't do, then I can relate to others as they are.  However, I do think the story can be told without all the colorful adjectives of curse words. I respect authors a little more when they can tell their story without cursing. 

I appreciate being able to be involved with the Blogging for Books program. I love the books that I receive and enjoy authors I have never read before. The fact I receive these books does not and will not influence my review or rating. 

Day 20: Where do I want to be in 10 years

10 years is a very long time in some ways, but in other ways it is short.  If I think about 10 years from now, Chris will be 26, Hannah will be 23, and Jennifer will be 20. The possibilities I could be a grandma in 10 years is astounding. My dreams are that I will have published some kind of book and that we will be debt free. I want to be 25 pounds lighter and I want to be healthier. I will be 59 years old, but I want to be living like I am young.  My kids will either be finished with college or in the beginnings of college. Mike and I will most likely be empty nesters.  Wow, that's mind boggling.  I can't imagine a home without children living in it.

I want to be deeper in Christ, my faith be stronger and bolder. I want to make a difference regardless of what I am doing at the time. Maybe, I will be working. Last night I dreamed about working in a field that helps abused and neglected children. That is what I feel drawn to as I prepare for the next season in my life.  I want to counsel them and help them work through their pain.

Other than that, God alone knows what the next 10 years will bring. I am going to to my best to take it one day at at time enjoying all the moments in between.

Day 19: My worst habits

Ugh, worst habits, not such a fun topic, but yeah we all have them, bad habits.  So here goes, in no particular order:

1. Procrastination, easily one of my very top worst habits.
2. Being unorganized. I so need to do better and I currently have a plan. Now to activate said plan and not procrastinate on said plan.
3. Being hard on myself about mistakes and what I think I should be doing.
4. Comparing myself to others who I perceive as doing mothering and being a wife better than I do. I should not compare myself. I am walking my on story, not theirs.
5. Forgetting to do things I said I would do, being easily distracted............squirrel. 
6. Eating things not good for my body, i.e. JUNK FOOD.

All that being said, I am a work in progress. When I look at my life, I have come a long way, baby. I still have so far to go.

Day 18: What Am I Afraid Of....

I really have lots of things I strongly dislike, spiders, heights, big aggressive dogs, but as for fear I am not sure how to answer this one. I would hate for one of my children to get seriously ill or injured but it's not something I fear.  I choose not to live in fear. There have been times in my life I have had fear but because of a situation, not because I feared the thing that happened.  I seriously live by...

The reason for this is because I have had some pretty scary times in my life. My Lord, my Faith, the love of my Father in heaven is what got me through those times. Fear stops forward movement. Sure, I get scared at times, but all out fear, I conquered it a long time ago.  I refuse to let fear rule my life. I know people who fear is like their best friend, and it saddens my heart. I have been there. I had to let fear go to find freedom. I had to let fear go to forgive others who deeply hurt me. I had to let fear go to heal and become strong.

Day 17 My favorite childhood book

Oh, my to pick a favorite is near to impossible. I was an avid reader, read under the blanket with a flashlight kind of girl. Reading was one of my favorite things.  If I had to pick a favorite it was the Bobbsey Twins Series. I love their adventures. I don't know if I read them all, but they were basically the Jack and Annie Series of my growing up years.  There were two sets of twins, an older set, and a younger set. Nan and Bert the older set and the younger two were Flossie and Freddie. These books made the girls and boys equally as able to solve the mystery and go on adventures. Apparently, there were two different series of these books. One series from my childhood and one from 1987-1992. I wish I could find all the books from my era. I would love to read them all from book one. I loved those books. It was like I was on the adventure with them. Today, those books would NOT be politically correct. They had a cook and a handyman who were a black couple. But oh, how I loved Dinah and her husband Sam.  They were loving and fun and funny and were a strong presence in the book. The parents made occasional appearances as mother and dad but really weren't mentioned a lot, that I remember, LOL.

I spent my summers, especially, because we didn' watch much tv, going on adventures with the Bobbsey twins. My sister and I played "Bobbsey twins" and pretended we went on mystery adventures. We would walk our neighborhood and pretend to spy on people, lol. We saw people gardening or whatever and would pretend they were spies seeking to hurt America. Poor Mr. Oswald never knew that at times he was a bad guy and sometimes he was a double agent helping America protect the nation. Mr. Oswald was our next door neighbor. We adored him and his wife.  They just became part of our pretend play.  Oh, the fun we had playing like we were great mystery solves like the Bobbsey twins.

Day 16 My Dream Job

Well, I guess I am doing it. I love being a wife and Mommy.  It's what I was created to do.  However, if I could do what I wanted and work it around my family's schedule...I would love to be a play therapist that works with and teaches children. I would love to help children who have been abused and neglected and show them that there truly are nice people in the world. I also would adopt a baby that needed a home and continue to be a Mama raising little ones.

I also would like to be an author. I want to publish books one day. I want to write novels, Bible devotionals and more.

For now, I will relish in being a stay at home mom and bloom where I am planted. God is faithful and I am so glad I am doing what I am doing.

I got to thinking...

I had a bunch of crazy dreams last night. Some were good, some were awful and woke me up to pray. I prayed in earnest but it got me to thinking.....

I am so grateful that God created me to be in my family, in the time to which I was born. First and foremost, I would not be the me that I am.  It took specific DNA to make me the me that I am. All the experiences, places I have lived, good things, bad things, all worked together to make me the person I am today. If I had been raised in a family that did not have faith, I would be different. If I had been raised in another country, I would be different. What If I had been raised in a place that does not believe in God? I can't imagine that life. It astounds me that God in all His infinite wisdom put me where He wanted me. He called me to Himself and gave me new life in Christ. If I had not been me, there would have never been a Chris, Hannah, or Jennifer. I can not imagine the world without my children in it.  I can not imagine the world where I did not have the sister I have or the friends that I have. God sees all and knows all. He does not make people believe, nor does He make people do bad things to people, but life happens and He lets people make their own choices.  It's called free will and something it is cliche. Yet, without free will, we would be puppets.  That is one of the reasons we need to be so careful of our choices.  Our choices, actions, and deeds effect others.  If we hurt others it can impact them for a lifetime.  God can't force us to make the right choice. So despite choices others made that effected my life, God turned what was meant for bad to good, because I chose to follow Him and for Him to control my life.

He made each of us for such a time as this. He knew when He wanted you to live. He knew the people He wants you to impact. How we impact those people is up to the choice we make. We can be world changers simply being who HE called us to be. He designed us for a purpose in the time He wanted us to be in. He calls us all to Him, everyone, but we have to choose Him.

So, even when life is hard and things are not going the way I would like or planned, I have to trust Him.  Bad things happen. Good things happen. We just have to choose to spread love and goodness into the world through Christ.  Our actions often speak so much louder than our words.  God made us to be a positive, loving, joy spreading force in our world.

I praise God that I got to live in such a time as this.  I got called by Him to live a life of faith. I praise God that I get to walk through this life, ups and downs included, with Jesus holding my hand and helping me stand strong. I have made and will make choices that are not what God wanted, but I know God can help me turn it around. He forgives me when I make mistakes. He can help those who I missed by using someone else. All is not lost if we don't follow the leading of the Holy Spirit to touch someone's life. They can be helped by someone else. It just means we lost that opportunity to see what God was going to do in that moment.

Day 15 timeline of my day...well my Yesterday

I got up at 6:00 am, although I had been awake since 5 am.  I sat in my bed and read my devotions from my Bible app.  I love having that Bible app. Then I got dressed while encouraging Jennifer to keep moving. I had given the older two their hugs and kisses for the day before the left out the door at O dark 30 to catch the bus. I put on my "uniform",  i.e. jeans and a shirt that will at some point have spit up, or baby peas or yogurt or who knows what on it by the end of the day.  I did not make coffee as I was running behind. I slogged through my morning, decidedly noncaffeinated.  We left the house for Jennifer's school at about 7:20. She was super excited because they were having a dance party first thing in the morning.  I have no idea how kids have the energy for a dance party at 7;45, but I digress. Jennifer and I sat in the car rider line chatting away and just enjoying some one on one time. When the bell rang the car rider line moved and I dropped off my daughter with lots of love and kisses and good day wishes. She looked back over her shoulder and flashed me the sign language I love you. That,  honestly, never gets old.

I made a pit stop at my local Speedway to get coffee. Ah, yes, it took a 20-ounce cup. I needed lots and lots of coffee. Off I drove to work, my last day as a working Mom for the foreseeable future. I drove and prayed and praised.  Sometimes, I have had long prayer moments with God while I drive to work. It takes about 30 minutes.  Other times, it was just a short chat and a thank you. I didn't have any crazy drivers in my way yesterday. Somedays, I compete with drivers who obviously got their driver's license out of a cracker jack box.I just say a prayer when I see it, for their safety and all those around them.

After I arrived at work, I stopped at the coffee house and purchased myself the most delectable cranberry muffin known to mankind.  The coffee house connected to the Preschool has such good food. Their brown sugar pecan scone, oh my word, it is out of this world. Okay, okay enough, I am hungry. LOL

My day began as my little charges began to arrive. One was absent and we had two teachers out with one that left early. IT was A CRAZY last day. I changed diapers, fed babies, danced, read stories, gave kisses and lots and lots of cuddles. Nap time didn't go well as most of them were not in a napping mood.  I love those babies.  I have enjoyed working there.  The final kiddo was picked up at 2:45 and I gave my hugs to my co-workers. I held it together...then got in my car and sobbed.

I know this was the right step to take, but I will miss the kids and the friends I have made. I am going to sub on occasion but I was surprised by the deep emotion that I felt.  I have some beautiful memories working there.

I left work and drove to pick up Hannah from tutoring. Now, we have this issue where she is supposed to have her phone, fully charged and in her backpack so I can text her that I am in the parking lot. For the umpteenth million time, she did not do that.  I went and knocked on the school door and finally, she came out. I don't think she heard the knock, no one came but she and I are going to have to come to a better understanding about the phone.

It was now 3:45 and I had to be across town to pick up Jennifer from her after school activity at 4.  I made it with a couple minutes to spare.  I gave hugs to her Good News Club leaders because it was Jennifer's last Good News Club since she is graduating elementary school this year.  Yep, I was feeling it, after already being emotional. I did keep my composure and did not embarrass her by crying all over her leaders, LOL.

From there we went to the grocery store to pick up milk, bread, and the like.  I decided on hot dogs for dinner. We eat Hebrew national and only have them on occasion because I am not a big fan. The kids like them on occasion.

Finally, arrived home, unloaded the groceries, kids, backpacks and sat down for a few minutes.

At 5:30 I started the dinner making process.  Burned my finger just a bit and then we had supper. After supper, the kids cleaned up and I went and took a shower, got ready for bed and watched some tv.  Mike had a call out, and the kids stayed up late.  I had a fitful night last night and dreamed some really disturbing dreams, and woke up and prayed, and prayed and prayed some more.

So, today a new day begins. The kids are off for Good Friday and I am sitting here at almost 11 and still in my pajamas.