Thursday, March 22, 2007

Socks, binkies, and the vortex

What is that vortex that sucks in socks, binkies, and puzzle pieces? For that matter anything you need at a given time will be sucked into the vortex. It is huge, it is sneaky and it is ugly. That same vortex works in reverse when it comes to laundry. You think, "Oh I am just about caught up" then VIOLA, Laundry suddenly increases 10 times. So there must be some vortex in the lives of mothers. This same vortex sucks the energy right out of mom inversely proportional to the energy level in your child. The more energry your child displays the less you have. What's up with that? This same vortex seems to suck all responsibility and answers from a child when this child has done something wrong.

Who tore this up(knowing full well who did it)? I dunno with a shrug of the shoulders.
Now Hannah, I saw you tear up brother's paper. "No Mommy, Jennener(Jennifer) did it". "I a goooooooood girl".

This vortex works on husbands too. They have plenty of energry for certain things despite how little sleep or how hard they have worked. But you as that same husband to do a chore, start a load of laundry or take the kids out for an hour or so and suddenly, WHAM the vortex strikes and zaps eery ounce of energy from him. "Oh honey, I am so tired. It was such a hard day at work". uhhm, yeah, and I sat around and ate bon bons all day. Yes, this vortex strikes at all times of the day, in any weather condition and any season. If the item or clothing you are looking for is very important it is even harder to fight the vortex and find it.

It also works on babies. Only the vortex on babies does dastardly things. Such as; you have baby all dressed up in pink ruffles, frilly socks and patent leather shoes......and suddenly the vortex presses on the baby and she erupts from her diaper with the foulest poops known to man kind. Requiring not only a bath, but a change of clothes for both of you and the dreaded search for more baby socks that match. Yes, my friends the vortex, if we could find a way to fight the vortex, perhaps, just perhaps we could get ahead of the drool, messes, laundry, lost binkies and socks.

Then again if we didn't have the vortex our lives might be more boring.

And we would not have such humorous stories to embarrass our children with one day in the future.