Today is Moving Day and cleaning out the stuff.

Packing up the truck and heading out to the new city today.  Our family will be together again instead of trying to keep up two households.  Mike has been in the other city for 8 weeks now...I think and most of it spent there.  He came home some but being apart has been hard.  He wasn't able to be with me when we lost Miya.  He couldn't be here for the last week of school.  So much he had to miss out on, but it was only temporary. 

Doing so much by myself with the kids this last few weeks had made me so much more aware of what single Moms go through.  At least I knew at the end of it all, we would be together again. So grateful to God that I do not have to walk life's highway without a live person to walk with me.

We are going to a rental house.  Has a yard with a fence all the way around and an office/playroom and many other benefits over an apartment.  We can get out in the backyard and play with our children and chase fireflies and all those things I grew up doing. 

I feel sad at the same time too.  We have many friends here and family.  While it is only 2 hours East of here it is still not going to be the same.  We have had a good almost 3 years here.  Life is an adventure...now as we walk through this next door; I wonder what God has in store. 

Hopefully after we get moved in and the computer up and running and we are somewhat settled; I can blog again. 

Speaking of moving day and all that goes with it.  Cleaning and packing makes me realize how much God wants to clean out of our lives and for us to get rid of the junk.  When you pack a house, inevitably you discard stuff, junk that has accumulated that you really don't need.  Stuff you were hanging onto for whatever reason that no longer makes sense.  God wants to do that in our hearts too.  We accumulate "stuff".  We hand onto hurts, regrets, pains that we need to let go of.  When if we'd let it go and let God clean it out; our lives would function much better.  So God......I give you permission to clean out and get rid of any junk that has no place in my heart.

Create in me, Oh Lord a heart that doesn't hold onto junk.  A heart open to you and the changes YOU have planned.  A heart of love an  ministry.  Let this adventure of moving be a new lease on my soul as well.  Let me be ready and willing to do whatever you are calling us to do through this adventure.

Lessons learned from Miya

Miya........she lived to short of a time, but what a great teacher she was.  Things I learned from Miya:

Even when in pain, you can find a reason to smile.

Love and once you love someone never let go.

Just cause someone says no, doesn't mean you can't try.

Telling people I love you more...has lots of payback.

Joy is in the journey not the hardship.

Never give up trying to get what you want.

The small things in life, like bubbles and stuffed ducks are important.  Enjoy them.

Shoes are not important, it is better to be barefoot.

Love knows no boundaries.  You can love lots of people in a short time and endear them all to your heart.

The more you love, the more friends you have.

Love has no limitations, even if your body does.

Friends are treasures and gifts, hold them close and camp out in their heart.

There is not enough time in the day to take time for a nap. Too many things to do, see, say and explore. Live life to its fullest.

So many lessons I learned from sweet Miya girl.  These barely touch the surface.  She greatly impacted my life and I will forever treasure the things I learned from sweet Miya.  She had some rough days, but she kept trying. 

Explaining death to children...

While they can not understand in full....as evidenced by my 3 year old asking...."Is Miya still died"?  The faith of a child helps them grasp the things of death better than you thought.  Jenny has been talking about Miya non stop.  I explained to the kids yesterday after deciding they will go with me to the viewing, about the body left behind.  I told them it was not the real Miya, just her body, her shell.  That the soul of Miya, her spirit, what made her Miya is with Jesus and she has a new body that has no pain and no owies. 

So Jenny went into her nursery at church last night and told her teacher.  "Miya is died but her is in heaven with Jesus and her has a new body".  I did not know she would grasp it enough to explain it to someone else.   She has also said in the last couple days "Mommy Miya's wiver is not bwoken anymore".....so true.  The other two have  talked about Miya playing in heaven.  So precious.

I told them that they can be sad and at the same time it is okay to laugh if they feel joy during the day.  That just because they are sad doesn't mean they can't enjoy life.  That if they need to cry they can.  If they don't want to cry they don't have to.  I told them their feelings are okay.  I explained (and will again) the behavior they will need at the viewing.  That it is okay to be a little scared or worried, or sad or even okay if they don't know what to feel.  They can ask questions but must do so with a soft, respectful voice. 

This will be a life lesson. They can say goodbye to their friend who is basking in the presence of Jesus.  I am sure more questions will come.  But hopefully I am helping them through this journey of grief, saying good bye to a dear friend. 

It is still so surreal...

Can Miya really be gone?  Shouldn't the world have stopped spinning on its axis?  The impact she left on our lives is so real.  I feel numb.  I can't imagine the grief of those closer to her, when my own grief is palable.  I was not ready to say good bye.  I completely believed God would heal her this side of heaven.  Why He chose to take her home to heal her, I will never know.  Yet, God is His love and wisdom knows. 

I know that Miya would not want to come back.  She would not want pain and suffering.  She is happy.  She is free.  She is sitting in the presence of the Savior. That is awesome.

Yet, those of us who remain are left with grief so pervasive it filters into our dreams.  The loss of Miya is like a part of our hearts have left.  There is an empty spot in my heart.  Yes I know, I still have my memories, the love she left in her place in my heart.  Yet, today...that is not enough.  I know it is selfish, but I'd like to hold her...touch her...kiss her sweet face.  I got to see her one last time before she left this earth.

Miya was hooked up to every machine known to mankind.  Drugs pumping in her wee little body to do all kind  of things I don't even understand.  I spoke to her and she struggled to open her eyes. She was so sedated.  But I know she KNEW I was there.  I know she KNEW I loved her. 

Oh sweet, sweet Miya girl.....I am glad you are free from pain, but I miss you. 

An angel got her wings..in loving memory of Miya Harris

This morning at 3:45 am, Miya, the little girl I used to babysit earned her wings.   She had received her liver transplant 2-3 weeks ago and has been fighting ever since.  This morning quietly and peacefully, her heart stopped beating and they could not bring her back.  She said goodbye to this world and hello to Jesus. 

Miya was a beautiful precious child.  She loved singing and dancing.  She loved to say "I love you more". 

On this side of heaven we can not understand why she had to suffer so and why the liver transplant took place only for her to go home to heaven.

Alagille's syndrome caused her liver to fail but it did not hamper her sweet spirit.  She touched the lives of everyone she met.  We are forever left with a Miya shaped imprint on our hearts.  We loved you Miya.  We will miss you, but we will see you again.  Dance for Jesus my sweet girl, dance pain free, dance and sing with all your might cause now my sweet girl you are free.  Miss Thelma loves you.

Holy Macaroni?

Yesterday I fed Jenny ravioli out of can for lunch.  This is NOT a normal meal at our house because it is so full of sodium.  I personally don't like them but Jenny wanted them and someone had given us a couple of cans. ( I still have 1 can left).  So I let her have them.

Her brother and sister came home from school and she told them and I quote:

"Today for lunch I had Holy Macaroni"!

I guess the child likes raviolis.  I will be making this myself soon instead of the canned variety.  I know she will love these and they will be much better. 

But Holy Macaroni?  What is it the best tasting thing she has ever had?  Super macaroni?  I still have no idea WHY she labeled this meal HOLY. 

Chhhh chhhh chhh chhh ...changes

Changes are afoot in our household.  Mike has been hired at a different avionic technician shop (whatever you call it).  He starts April 19th.  Starting pay will be what he makes now.   The BUT is that it is in the Chattanooga area, two hours or so from where we live now.  So the kids and I will be holding down the fort here until they finish school and while I pack up our home.  Mike will begin there, a week from now.  He will work there and look for us a place to live. 

Add to that, that he was interviewed for a church.  He was a guest speaker there this weekend.  It is in a town near Chattanooga.  Now we are in wait mode to hear from the church board and pulpit committee.  WOW! 

God is in control.  I am not sure what is going to take place the next 6-8 weeks or so, except for moving.  I do not know where we will lay our heads in two months, but God does.  I do not know if we will get this church, but God does.  I do not know where my kids will go to school next year, but God does.  So many "unknowns" but I KNOW the one in control of the uknown. 

My heart is in perfect peace that our Lord is in control.

God is so good.

(p.s. what happened to the spell check button?  I can not find it..LOL)